London’s SMOG problem « angels & urchins blog

London’s SMOG problem
Sunday, July 12th, 2009

The Blog is in an urchin kind of mood today. The morning started happily enough, with pancakes* to celebrate the end of term, but the sunny mood was darkened by the arrival of a terrible SMOG. You’ve probably heard of the so-called peasoupers which once reduced London’s capital to a standstill, but the Noughties version is far, far worse. All pink and fluffy, it’s like being smothered by a giant marshmallow. A typical attack might go something like, ‘Oh so cute, this morning the girls woke me up with a poem they’d written about mummies being marvellous’, or ‘Yesterday, we made cupcakes for Daddy, before the girls cleaned up the kitchen while I sewed bunting for their bedrooms’. Both of which are fine, sort of, if they weren’t invariably accompanied by, ‘Oh, but your boys were probably burning a kitten or eating spiders, ha ha ha!’ By the time you remember you’ve only put mascara on one set of lashes, and your children are very obviously wearing the same clothes for at least the third day running, SMOG has skipped off to sprinkle ground glass disguised as fairydust into another unsuspecting ear. In case you hadn’t guessed, we’re talking the Smug Mother of Girls. Her life is defined by Ps: pretty, preferably pink and ultra-polite, sung to a soundtrack of Disney Princess tunes. Boys are a noisy, messy nuisance, their one merit in life to throw into glorious relief the wonders of ringletted, pirouetting girls. SMOG doesn’t seem to afflict mothers who have boys and girls, but this ‘Tra la la’ approach to motherhood is particular to a disproportionate number of mothers who only have girls. Why? If you’ve any theories, we’d love to hear them. And if you’re a SMOG, don’t forget to sign off in pink.

*Sorry, we realise that does sound SMOG.

Tags: The Urchin Rants

11 Responses to “London’s SMOG problem”

Lucy says:

July 16, 2009 at 13:17

How refreshing that someone can define such horrors that exist in the world. I know a SMOG and being the mother of 2 boys, I am her main target for all that sanctimonious spew about how wonderful life is with girls. I have an answer for you though; they are nothing but jealous. They like to praise themselves, their lives and their precious girls to remind themselves that they are actually happy and of course, NEVER wished for a boy when their third little angel was born into the world.
And yes, our boys are hard work and don’t sit and colour, or cook, or brush their barbie’s hair for hours, but our boys will come into their own when the SMOGs girls turn into bratty, nasty little teenagers. Our little monsters will be, as boys are – straight forward and uncomplicated, running around on the football pitch and they will ADORE their mummies to bits. I just hope i still know my SMOG then……i will have the last laugh!
Anna-Marie Gardener says:

July 20, 2009 at 16:00

Oh come on MOBs, we all know you love being the only lady in the house. Any mother who is smug is incredibly annoying, but are you sure in this case you aren’t suffering from the pink-eyed jealously monster? Little boys are wonderful, but they do tend to trash your house, wreck your clothes, and need constant attention. I think of them as dogs v self-sufficient cats (ie. girls). So enjoy being lady of the manor, and enjoy keeping your shoes looking good – little girls love stealing heels!
Anna White says:

August 3, 2009 at 13:56

Any mother who brings her daughter up worshipping pink, and making cookies for daddy, is asking for trouble. Daddy-worship turns into boy-worship, and makes girls feel all they need to do in life is look after men. Look out SMOG, in ten years time you’ll be locking the windows.
KLMiller says:

August 3, 2009 at 15:10

Wait till those girls become teenagers – SMOG’s will not be so smug.

As the mother of a 17 year old daughter and a 7 year old boy, I am convinced that teenage girls are the reasons why animals eat their young.
silvermine says:

August 3, 2009 at 18:13

They’re smug because they think it actually has to do with the mom “raising them right” or something, and not that boys are just hyper, dirty piles of spazz. Glorious, wonderful piles of dirty ferocious hyperness.

A lot of people think kids are a “blank slate” they impress with personality, instead of being born with their own personality.

I have one of each (and one on the way) and they’re both wonderful little people. Just one tends to break more stuff.
angels & urchins blog says:

August 13, 2009 at 10:35

[...] in the oven. We might just get organised enough to give it a go. Thinking about it, the next time Smog orders, sorry, organises a PTA meeting would be the ideal moment to unleash homebaked smells into [...]
What are little girls made of? « angels & urchins blog says:

August 26, 2009 at 13:38

[...] So there we have it, girls will be girls, and very nice they are too. Though blog angels & urchins now feels a little bit more solidarity with SMOG. [...]
anonymous proxies addicted says:

January 22, 2010 at 15:14

Yes this is great article, looking forward for update.
Rosanne Cevallos says:

March 4, 2010 at 09:30

sooo fake
Family Advice says:

April 5, 2010 at 17:55

Just what I was looking for! I was searching articles for our site when I came across your post (on London’s SMOG problem angels & urchins blog) which I noticed on AOL. We would love you to write for us, if interested. I’ve bookmarked this post for future reference. Nice comments here as well – Cheers from Family Advice
SHUFFSY says:

July 9, 2010 at 16:04

Feel much better after reading this! Having a very anti SMOG day! I actually think my Mum is a SMOG.
She thinks my sons watch the wrong sort of T.V, failing to acknowledge that boys are just different. Apparently Ben 10 is responsible for the worlds wrongs! Tom & Jerry is apparently acceptable! Must go now to stop them killing each other with saucepans and irons!

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