Desperate PTA Rep is feeling cross. Disgruntled. Darned b*****y mad.  And for once, it’s not the fault of Dear Boys 1 or 2. It’s not even solely the fault of being a PTA Rep. Though it would be nice if Perfect Mum with Trim Tum would stop bounding up to me and asking when the cast list is going to be announced for the Nativity. I’ve come up with the perfect answer, “There are likely to be lots of cute little cows this year”, which inevitably leaves her fuming about the angel and Mary costumes she’s clearly already made, “just in case”.

Anyway, this time it’s the government which has caused me to fume. Or more accurately, Ofsted and the insane diktat about childcare. If you look after someone’s child on a regular basis for two hours or more, you have to become registered with Ofsted as a childminder, or you’re breaking the law – as two policewomen discovered, and had to give up their brilliant reciprical childcare arrangement. Well, it just so happens that I have a longstanding arrangement with a close friend. Every other week, one of us takes Dear Boy 2 and her second child to nursery, picks them up and takes them home for lunch. The other child is with us for roughly the two hours that seems to have got Ofsted’s knickers in a twist. Naturally, we decided to overlook the whole thing, apart from signing the online government petition (and if you’ve never done this, it’s takes seconds to sign a petition, and not much longer to set one up – just visit http://petitions.number10.gov.uk). Unfortunately, the nursery had other ideas and sent a note home in the school bag warning mothers about the new ruling. Nothing to do with wanting mums to take up the afternoon places at nursery, obviously, just a friendly passing on of latest information to help us make an “informed choice”. Hmmm. And, alas, headmistress knows of my informal arrangement, and decided that as I was the PTA Rep, it would be ‘untenable’ for me to continue with it. “Besides, how would I feel if Dear Boy 2 hurt himself at my friend’s house because it wasn’t adequately fitted out with stairgates and under-sink locks?”

Which, of course, made me even crosser. Every mother is paranoid about something happening to her children, so why does the government/headmistress have to plant even the tiniest seed of doubt, and bring the dreaded health & safety into it? They’ll be inspecting grandparent’s houses next, in case they put too much sugar in the cookies. Anyway, just as I was spluttering with rage and about to homeschool my child forever, Ed Balls had a word with Ofsted, who were forced to do a U turn. So bravo Mr Balls – though was it the thought of millions of angry mothers marching on Downing Street that made you think twice? Hope so.