Nothing to do with Christmas, this post (I’ve given up, because as yet, no one has bought me Christian Louboutin Barbie. Sigh). Instead, this is all about forcing myself to laugh at those foot-in-mouth moments, the sort that possibly even the saint that is Father Christmas occasionally suffers from. To whit: this morning, at nursery drop-off, a mother looked at son two and said, “Must be so nice to have boys, you just don’t have to worry about what they look like”. Which, I’m sure you agree, could be taken any number of ways. I think she meant his un-brushed hair, and cereal-smeared jumper (guilty as charged on both counts), but it could be worse. Far worse. So I’m glossing over. After all, I’ve done it. You’ve probably done it. And here are some of my favourite, “oops, wish I could push back time” bloopers, said to me, or to friends, in the past year or two. I even said one of them, but I’m so embarrassed I’m not going to admit which.

To mother whose daughter was going to be a bridesmaid: “Sweet, she must be thrilled. Will they make her take her glasses off for the photographs?”

“It’s not fancy dress today. Oh, you knew that… Well, what original taste in clothing”

“That school would be perfect for you. It’s got the most fantastic special needs provision”

“My children live in hand-me-downs too. Some of them I love, some I wish I could bring myself to take to the charity shop. Especially granny-knit-it nylon pullies like that one. Gosh, wonderful that you knit it yourself…”

“You always produce such adorable looking boys. Oh, it’s a girl. Stunning!”

“Children with nannies are always so much naughtier. They just get away with more. You’re the nanny? Er, interesting. What’s your take on discipline?”

“So lucky she didn’t inherit her father’s hair!”

 Come on, reveal all. All of us will feel so much better knowing we’re not the only ones suffering from foot-in-mouth disease!