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Dear little so-and-so, part 1
Friday, February 19th, 2010
Inspired by Brit in Bosnia‘s and 3 Bedroom Bungalow‘s regular Dear So and So strand, here’s a version dedicated to some very little So and Sos; my sons. Of course I love them. Of course they make me laugh. And, of course, they drive me completely mad. One for them to look back on when they have children of their own, while I sit cackling in the corner nursing a granny-sized g&t.
Dear little 18-month-old
You sometimes come into the bathroom with me while I’m having a shower. I try to be quick, but it’s amazing how much havoc you can wreak when I’m in there. Don’t eat the loo brush, drink bubble bath or clean the floor with my toothbrush. Desist and play with the assortment of toys I have carefully chosen for your stimulation and development, or I will have to put you in the laundry basket.
Yours, health & safetily..
Dear little three-year-old,
You probably didn’t realise that when I was getting changed yesterday morning, the neighbours were getting a lovely framed view of my rear end. I open the curtains in this house, buddy, and the neighbours thank me for that.
Yours, nakedly…
Dear little four-year-old,
You’re getting quite strong. Which I’m obviously thrilled about, because it shows all that fish pie and spaghetti bolognaise must be working. However, when I’m kneeling on the floor and you jump on my calf, it really hurts. Ditto pulling my arm behind me when I’m not expecting it. Ditto running up behind me and pushing me when I’m standing at the top of the stairs. You’re not going to get any smaller. I am.
Yours ouchily…
Dear little 18-month-old,
My breakfast is no nicer than yours. We both had toast and raspberry jam this morning, and pointing at my plate and repeating, ‘blah, blah, blah, BLAAAAH’ 200 times, while pointing at my plate, doesn’t make for a relaxing start to the day. And won’t make my toast appear in your mouth.
Yours hungrily…
Dear little three-year-old,
I am thrilled that you are displaying such a keen interest in wildlife. We are lucky to have squirrels running around our garden for you to chase, and worms for you to dig up. But there’s a time and a place. Being woken this morning by a squashed, dead ladybird dropped in my eye is probably neither the time, nor the place.
Yours, with a crunchy eye…
Tags: The Urchin Rants
21 Responses to “Dear little so-and-so, part 1”
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Love Dear So and Sos. And I’m with you about the standing on my calf really hurting thing. Ouch!
Wow! Those are some crazy little ones you have there! Yuck on the dead ladybird…
If I woke up with a bug in my eye, heads would roll. Just sayin’
Great postcards. A squashed ladybird in your eye…..what a wonderful awakening. I had a large, beeping truck shoved next to my head at 6.30 this morning…..but yours sounds even choicer.
Why do children think that what is on mom’s plate is so much tastier than what is on their own?
I felt like I could have written this one!
Love dear so & so’s. Why do kids think they should launch themselves off of us? OUCH!
Yep the curtain thing, I have been there too!!
Lovely letters, and I know exactly where you’re coming from with the stimulating the kids whilst in the bathroom. Or anywhere else for that matter. They always want you when you’re in the middle of something important.
CJ xx
Brit in Bosnia – And the little so-and-sos are only going to get bigger. SOS!
Miss Angie – It really was yuk. He was so excited about finding it on his bedroom floor, but not the ideal start to the day.
Kat – Ditto, above. One of those, ‘Well done for showing me the ladybird, but just so you know MUMMY REALLY DOESN’T LIKE TINY WINGS AND CRUNCHY LITTLE LEGS IN HER EYE’.
Nappyvalleygirl – Beeping truck or crunchy eye? As both were before the 7am watershed, I think it’s a moot point as to who had the worst start to the day!
Amanda – The grass is greener, especially when it comes to food. But it’s mine, all mine. Oh go on then, if it stops you crying/tantruming/throwing your plate on the floor…
Melanie – we are but caterpaults for the little dears…!
The Mad House – hope your behind looked more refined than mine!
Crystal Jigsaw – I know, why didn’t we all manage to write Booker winning novels and arrange world peace before we had children? All that time on our hands, and we just didn’t realise it.
very funny stuff especially as I can relate to it! Thankfully I never had my behind in full view to the neighbours though!
Maria – You are a lucky lady! Though I’m sure your neighbours would be only too thrilled.
Lovely letters – they all made me laugh! I really love the energy and vitality of boys but I just don’t think I’d be up to the challenge. I’m quite a baby, and if someone jumped on my calf I might cry.
Hello Slummy Single Mummy – I totally cry when someone jumps on my calf, and doubly so when two of them do it at the same time!
Ha! – You have some spirited little boys – never a dull moment at your house but life is sweeter that way!
Now that my little one has arrived, there is never a dull moment here either. If I had to write a letter to LLC, it might go something like….”When you scream like you do on the changing table it sounds like I’m torturing you rather than wiping your bottom clean! You don’t want to sit in that all day now, do you?”
Hello Bump2Basics, great to hear from you. Yes, very spirited, but as you say, isn’t life much sweeter that way? And yes, why do they scream about things like nappy changing? You’d think it would be much nicer not to sit like a tomato in a gro-bag!
I’m so glad I have girls! I just get homemade ‘perfume’ made from the local red and deadly berries…walk in the park compared to squished bugs…
Veryanniemary – I used to make endless rose petal perfume, and am still slightly disappointed and surprised that it never smelt nice. Though I’m not sure the deadly berries sound a good alternative to a squished bug in the eye, not that your girls sound as though they’d ever do something as silly as put something in your eye.
[...] 3 Bedroom Bungalow’s regular Dear So and So strand, here’s a second version (here’s the first) dedicated to some very little So-and-Sos; my three [...]
I’ve come over from the carnival at Baby Baby. I can relate to all of those letters….very funny. :0)
Hello Nova. Great carnival at Baby Baby; I’m still about half way through the posts and it’s nearly 11pm! Very glad you made your way over here, and enjoyed this particular post – thank you.