Guest post: Spanish v British babies « angels & urchins blog

Guest post: Spanish v British babies
Friday, May 28th, 2010

There’s a bloggers’ guest post day happening today, organised by Little Mummy. angels & urchins blog was thrilled to hear it had drawn a swap with Very Bored in Catalunya. She’s got a lot to say from her expat home in Spain, despite professing that all she writes about are the “Utterings and mutterings of a stay at home mum with far too much time on her hands”. I love her blog because it gives an insight into something I’m always itching to do more of, namely live abroad. Here, she gives a first-hand account of the differing (and sometimes startlingly similar) parenting practices between the UK and Spain.

Bringing a child up in another culture does have you questioning who is right and which approaches are best. Are we as Brits over-cautious, or are all these Johnny foreigners too carefree or just downright careless?

You’d imagine that there would be many differences between the Spanish way of raising children, and the British way of doing things. Indeed, there are some definite cultural differences, but so many things are just the same.

Flamenco earrings Ear-piercing springs to mind. A much balked over affair in the UK, with most mums preferring to leave it as late as the obligatory battle of wills allows. Over here, it’s done routinely by the midwife shortly after giving birth. I can only think of one girl in Joseph’s school who doesn’t have her ears pierced. One of these days, I must remember to ask her mum why not. Most babies (male & female) also seem to wear lots of baby jewellery, necklaces and bracelets that in the UK would be considered a huge choking risk, I can’t say that I’ve ever heard of such an incident. There is also such a thing as Baby Cologne. I’m going to go all Peter Kay on you and say ‘Baby… Cologne? Cologne… for Babies?’ Indeed!

On the other hand the Spanish could be accused of being overprotective towards their newborn offspring. Newborns are rarely seen out. Not unless the weather is just right, by that I mean relatively warm, and even then the babies seem to have too many clothes on. Surely it isn’t necessary to wrap a baby in so many layers when it’s 25ºC? Again, I doubt you’ll find many a horror story of overheating being written about in the media, unlike in the UK where there are a couple of such incidents every year. British babies are generally bundled up and taken out much earlier in their little lives regardless of weather. I think however this is due to the grandparents playing a much larger part in day to day life in Spain, whereas most British women have to take the baby with them should they need to go out, Spanish women have good reliable babysitting options.

All the baby books tell us that it’s imperative that the child’s bedroom be kept at an ambient temperature of 18ºC. Well guess what, you’d probably find that only a couple of weeks a year would the air temperature actually be OK for you to heat or air condition a room to such a precise temperature. I wonder how all the babies born in hot countries ever survive? Ooh I know, maybe it’s because it’s all they know, and they get used to it very quickly. Joseph’s bedroom temperature ranges from 15ºC to 26ºC over the course of the year.

There are some other practices that I don’t approve of, the use of biscuits in milk, especially for bedtime. But hey, are they any worse than rusks that us Brits regularly give our little dears to chomp on?

Then there’s the old gem of bedtimes and naps as they get older. You would imagine that all the children have a two-hour siesta, and are then up running around until 11pm every night. I certainly did. However on speaking with some of Joseph’s school friend’s mamas it turns out that they don’t nap anymore in the afternoon and are usually in bed for about 8pm, a little later on weekends and fiestas. Sounds familiar…

Well food then, that must be different. Surely all the local children will be tucking into sardines, paella, chorizo etc, with lashing of salad on the side. Huge lunches and then late, late dinners? Actually, nope! Whilst they will generally have their main meal at lunchtime and then sandwiches for tea, Spanish three-year olds it seems are just as fussy and picky as our own. Who would have thought it?

Attitudes to nurseries are probably one of the major differences between British and Spanish mothers. Over here no-one bats an eye when you put your child into nursery. There is certainly none of this working mother guilt trip that attacks most British mums. Although it’s generally not done before they reach their first birthday, practically every toddler will go to nursery fulltime regardless of whether their mother works or not. When you consider that our local village nursery costs just €90 a month for full-time childcare, it’s not surprising that the parents queue up the night before to ensure that their child can get a place on registration day. Also, there is only one intake a year, so if you miss that you have to wait until the following September.

Schooling is different too. While not compulsory until six, everyone sends their children to school at three, where they will begin a formal classroom-style education for five hours a day, with some homework at the weekends.

Toilet training takes place very early on. Most kids are dry by their second birthday, our policy of leaving the child until they are fully ready would probably be considered lazy, and a waste of money on nappies. I guess when the children start school at three you’d be unwise to leave it too late to tackle in case they weren’t fully toilet trained by the time they started school. I know of one daft English woman who left it until a couple of weeks before school term started before she started her son’s toilet training, and it was still a bit hit and miss for the first couple of weeks. Yep, that daft woman would be me.

Other parenting issues such as smacking and general discipline varies as you would expect from parent to parent but on the whole children are taught right from wrong and to be respectful to each other and their parents. Just as good British parents do.

The one resounding difference however is the general attitude towards all children over here. Children are much loved by all. The saying it takes a whole village to raise a child is very much a living and working thing here. Every mother knows the names of not just the children in her son or daughter’s class but the whole school. Shop keepers will have supplies of lollipops or sweets to give to the children (the dentists must do a roaring trade). Sadly back in the UK children are still considered by many as a nuisance, pests, things that should be seen and not heard.

Tags: Guest blogger, Mums we love

17 Responses to “Guest post: Spanish v British babies”

TheMadHouse says:

May 28, 2010 at 10:48

What a fantastic insight in to parenting in Spain. Thank you I really loved it
Trish@ Mum's Gone to says:

May 28, 2010 at 11:27

Nice to read you over here!
Quite reassuring to know that Spanish children are picky with their food too – I always had this rosy image of them tucking into a whole host of exotic dishes whilst mine hankered after chicken dippers and smiley-face chips!
The potty training at an early age was very common with our own mothers in the UK I think: maybe in the days of terry nappies and not-so-efficient washing machines, they had more of an incentive to get cracking earlier.
Harlan Iman says:

May 28, 2010 at 13:38

Thank you for such a fantastic post.
nappyvalleygirl says:

May 28, 2010 at 17:18

That was fascinating.

It just goes to show that there are many ways of raising children and what it says in the baby books isn’t always gospel! (which has always been my attitude anyway….)

I know what you mean about the UK being less child-friendly. Here in the US, children regularly eat out with parents in the evening, even in quite smart restaurants!
angels&urchinsblog says:

May 28, 2010 at 18:22

TheMadHouse – I loved it too – thank you, VBIC.

Trish – Relieved about the food thing as well, must admit.

Harlan – Thanks for coming by, glad you enjoyed the guest post.

Nappyvalleygirl – Burn the books!
Very Bored in Catalunya says:

May 28, 2010 at 19:29

Thank you to Angels & Urchins for letting me post here.

Please go and check out her guest post on mine, it’s very good you know.

The Mad House – funny how things that seems so different on the outside can actually be so familiar. Glad you enjoyed the post.

Trish you will be relieved to know that they do sell fish fingers over here and chicken nuggetts so some kids must be eating them…

Harlan Iman – Glad you enjoyed it.

Nappy Valley Girl – agree with A&U – burn those books. Nice to see the US has a more child friendly outlook.
Deer Baby says:

May 28, 2010 at 19:33

That was really interesting to compare the differences. I know whenever we’ve gone on holiday to Spain, or just Europe in general, children seem much more welcome in restaurants and cafes and just in general! Not sure I would get on with the early potty training though. We left it as late as we could. And the ear piercing thing – as you may know, I am still angry I had to wait until I was 13. But I couldn’t do it to a little, ickle baby.
verybusymama says:

May 28, 2010 at 20:55

I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed this post! Mostly because it is very similar to raising a child in Chile. First up, Little M wears baby cologne – and I love it. People always say he smells amazing and I didn’t understand how that doesn’t fly well in the US or UK. I have a life times supply of baby cologne if anyone is intersted! LOL. And the ear piercing, I had mine pierced at the hospital too! In Chile I am constantly reminded to bundle little M up, and my family panicked when I told them that I had gone out for a walk in the snow when he was only weeks old. (bundled up of course!). I think being twice the expat (Chilean via US and now UK) I have found a comfortable balance. I just have to accept that when they tell me how to raise my child its out of love, like you said, it definately takes a village and in a way, its comforting. I always look forward to my trips to Chile with Little M. Speak to you on twitter! besos, Maria Jose x
Dymphna says:

May 29, 2010 at 21:17

Great post! Thanks for the insight into Spain. I love Spain. Have been there a few times!! From what I’ve seen, I see Spanish love kids! As you said, whole village know all kids. Little A was called El whoppo (sp!!) by everyone we met! They thought she was a boy as her ears not pierced!!
Mrshev says:

May 31, 2010 at 07:15

Really enjoyed that post, really interesting and unemotional. Will check her blog out!
Claire says:

May 31, 2010 at 10:32

Loved this post – I lived in Spain for a year pre-marriage and kids and I remember thinking it strange that we hardly ever saw babies out and about, and recoiling in horror at the pierced ears! I guess Spanish childcare practices are similar to what ours would have been a generation or two back. Certainly when I was a baby grandparents were relied on a lot more for babysitting and childcare was much more affordable. I love the idea of a whole community raising a child – it seems very ‘safe’ compared to the society we now live in here in the UK. And as for the cost of nurseries in Spain….where’s my passport? I would love to return one day
angels&urchinsblog says:

May 31, 2010 at 18:49

Deer Baby – Funny about the ear piercing thing, isn’t it? Such a signifier in so many ways.

verybusymama – OK, rethink about baby cologne definitely needed!

Dymphna – Is she still known as ‘El whoppa’?

Mrshev – Really interesting, and love that it’s so unjudgemental too.

Claire – Hello. Lucky you having the Spanish experience, though what a shame it was before you had kids – I had to look twice at the cost of the nursery.
EmmaK says:

June 1, 2010 at 17:43

Very interesting stuff. I really though the little Spaniards would be eating a mixed diet of Spanish food but as you say there are fussy little buggers everywhere
angels&urchinsblog says:

June 2, 2010 at 19:53

EmmaK – Certainly made me feel better about serving fish fingers last night!
californiaeducation.tk says:

June 3, 2010 at 12:07

Very cool site and I just bookmarked ya too!
Spring Mama says:

June 3, 2010 at 17:36

Loved your posting as I lived in Spain pre-children and have always wondered what it would be like to be a Spanish mother. Spanish children always seem to be beautifully behaved, are dressed in the most fantastic clothes (memories of Spanish friends who lived in England in the 80s and dressed all FIVE of their children identically). I think it stems from what you say that in Spain, Spanish children are adored by everyone, there is a lot of love and time for children and I think the Spanish manana attitude really helps.

I was an au pair in Mexico for 6 months and the same can be said for Mexican children – they get the time and attention that I fear all to often we English mothers just seem to skip on (or rather have to skip on as we juggle so much and childcare/live in help is so much cheaper in Spain and Mexico than it is in England).

I guess as the Spanish always eat out (dinner parties at home were a big no-no), I guess that play dates are always out of house in the park or playground – but maybe I am wrong.
angels&urchinsblog says:

June 3, 2010 at 18:27

californiaeducation – Hope you come back!

Spring Mama – All rings true, particularly the ‘manana’ comment. In the playground earlier I kept looking at my watch wondering if it was time to head back for tea, instead of – like my children – actually enjoying being there. What an experience being an au pair in Mexico must have been.

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