You never know what you’re going to see in London. And I’ve been wanting to use this snap, taken on my iPhone, on a post for a while. I just couldn’t work out quite how to fit it into a post. Probably because I can’t quite work out what it means. Anyway, the next time you’re on the Tube, look out for a philosophical thought for the day.
Big chef at the Big Feastival 2011
Here’s a lovely shot of Jamie Oliver at his Big Feastival. The thumb in the bottom right corner of the image is, of course, completely meant to be there. Ahem. Fortunately, His Jamieness is a much better festival organiser (or at least his people are) than I’m a photographer. Big Feastival took up a corner of Clapham Common, and was designed to promote food and music in a family-friendly way. This meant a few things to taste, lots more dishes to buy, talks from famous chefs, a meet ‘n’ greet Peppa Pig, free face painting, carousel rides and lots of balloons.
We got there early on Sunday 3rd June, at about 10.30am, before it got busy. The main stage acts had got going, but it was a tough crowd for them because it was such a small crowd. In both senses – the average age can’t have been older than nine. Things might have hotted up by the evening when Guillemots and The Bees came on (The Charlatans headlined on Saturday), but by that stage I’d headed home with the teenies. Note to self: next year organise babysitters for the evening.
Thrillingly, for me anyway because the children didn’t know who he was (not that Jamie will care, but my oldest is six and far more interested in Star Wars Lego than famous chefs) we saw Jamie in person. His camera crew were permanently in tow like pilot fish cruising with a whale shark. He pressed flesh, high-fived, and generally acted like Jamie. But he looked tired. I wanted to sit him down and feed him some quite incredible Zizzi ice cream before letting him sleep in the Little Dude’s Den, a tent with live story telling and painting tables just for children.
My boys ate and enjoyed, and collected stickers from anyone who’d hand them over. Under 12s get in free, tickets start from £35 for adults. Which seemed a bit steep had I been on my own, but as I had three teenies in tow felt like great value.
Mini men enjoying Mussel Men's wares
It was busy, and there should have been more to taste for free. Give me a sample of tapenade and I’ll buy loads of jars of the stuff. It also got pretty hot, but even Jamie Oliver can’t control the weather. And food washed down with rainwater never goes down well.
What do you see when you look at this poster?
Perhaps it’s the footballer’s left foot. His smart home kit. Maybe he’s just let in a goal he shouldn’t have. No, what I found truly astonishing about this poster, designed to promote season ticket sales for Crystal Palace footie club, is the fact that the player was born in August.
If you don’t have a summer baby this probably won’t mean much to you. If you do you’ll be used to people rolling their eyes, particularly if you’ve a boy, and saying something along the lines of, ‘Well, they will catch up by the time they’re 11 or so!’ Apparently, children born in June, July and especially August start school at a disadvantage. They learn to read and write later than children born earlier in the year, and aren’t as confident socially. And because they often start school physically smaller than their older counterparts, they are less likely to get picked for sports teams. Don’t just take my word for it, click here to read an article in The Telegraph following the early birth, in August 2010, of David and Samantha Cameron’s youngest daughter, Florence Rose Endellion.
So thanks, Crystal Palace, for showing that you can be born in August and do well in life.
Even if, like my children, you were born in south London.
We caught up with the author of Pam Allyn’s Best Books for Boys: How to Engage Boys in Reading in Ways that Will Change Their Lives on a recent book tour. angels & urchins blog is the mother of four boys, so couldn’t wait to quiz Allyn about the books and poems that a would help young boys learn to love reading.
Q Which poem would you read to a young boy?
A April Rain Song by Langston Hughes on a rainy spring day when it’s too damp to go outdoors. Anything by Jack Prelutsky when the mood is low. The Homework Machine by Shel Silverstein when homework is overwhelming, and Black is Brown is Tan by Arnold Adoff when you want to inspire to grow up to be the kind of person who will see all people as one, and will write his own poems in that spirit.
Q And which novelists would you recommend to a boy just starting to get confident with his reading?
A Hmmm. I think that really depends on the interests of the boy himself. But some great transitional reads include The Invention of Hugo Cabret and The Maximum Ride series.
Q And which three titles would you recommend for a teenage boy?
Three favorites for teen readers include Brothers Torres by Coert Voorhees, The Absolutely True Story of a Part Time Indian by Sherman Alexie, and Bad Boy by Walter Dean Myers.
Q Is the data you’ve compiled about the differences in achievement between boys and girls in the US comparable to the UK?
A I do not know as much about the statistics of the UK as I do about the United States, but I do believe that this is an issue endemic to the developed world: that we do not see boys in the same light as we see girls: we do not enculturate them to become readers.
Q What can parents/carers do at home to counteract some of the pressures boys feel to conform in school?
A At home the message should be joy. Make it fun and interactive to read with your sons. Don’t send them to their room or find reasons to criticise them. Love what they read and express interest in knowing more, whether they are comics or classics.
Q In your book, you say boys are drawn to graphic novels. Are there any benefits to this form of reading?
There are plenty! First is we want to build stamina in our boy readers, and reading with a combination of text and pictures helps boys read faster and for longer. Second is that for a boy who struggles, or who might feel a bit anxious about reading for sustained periods, the graphics in the graphic novels provide welcome companion to the print.
Q Where are your own favourite places to read?
A I could read anywhere, anytime, and any place. The only thing I fear is being somewhere I don’t have anything to read with me.
Q If you had an imaginary bookshelf of books that you could never part with, which titles would be on it?
A I love that idea! I would have Charlotte’s Web, Anna Karenina, the poems of Mary Oliver and Langston Hughes, and the books hand created by the children I have taught, for I love them all so much.
Another day, another survey about the differences between sons and daughters. This time with the, ahem, cliche-free title:
Do Two Princesses Make the Ideal Fairytale Family?
If you’re planning on starting a family, life might be easier if you have two girls. Researchers came to the conclusion after examining the lives of families with different combinations of children, both male and female.
If you’ve two girls you’ve apparently hit the jackpot when it comes to a harmonious family life. Your pink and perfect darlings will be unlikely to fight, will play nicely and generally be a pleasure to have around. Two girls rarely annoy their parents with too much noise, confide in their parents and are unlikely to wind each other up or ignore each other.
But not all is as rosy as it might seem. When it comes to girls, doubling the number of daughters is likely to lead to a whole world of drama, the report found. Mums and dads with four girls turned out to be the least happy with family life overall, with one in four of those admitting they were not 100% happy with their lot – and one in three finding it hard to cope on a daily basis. Parents of four girls also admitted to having to cope with an average of four fights or arguments a day.
Faye Mingo, spokeswoman for Bounty (www.bounty.com) which carried out the study among 2,116 parents said: “The findings were absolutely fascinating – we often assume little girls behave like angels, and if you have two this certainly seems to be the case. But the more girls you have the more of a handful they become – more so in fact than boys. In fact, going from two to four girls seem to take parents from one extreme to the other – whilst doubling the amount of boys has much less impact”.
After two girls, the second most satisfactory combination of children was one boy and one girl.
86% of parents with one of each gender said they would honestly say their children were friends. Parents of one girl and one boy also commented that they rarely argue over toys, belongings and who can have what. The report found one of each gender can also be reasoned with easily, making it easy for mums and dads to quickly sort out problems. The only downside of having a boy and a girl was a lack of shared interest as they grow up.
The third easiest combination of children was two boys. Parents of two boys revealed they frequently pay each other lots of attention day to day, and are often best of friends throughout their childhood. But while having two boys can be something of a pleasure when the children are little – parents can find the boys rarely confide in them as they grow up.
Here are the results of the survey in full.
‘BEST’ TO ‘WORST’ COMBINATIONS OF CHILDREN:
1. Two girls
2. One boy and one girl
3. Two boys
4. Three girls
5. Three boys
6. Four boys
7. Two girls and one boy
8. Two boys and one girl
9. Three boys and one girl
10. Three girls and one boy
11. Two boys and two girls
12. Four girls
BENEFITS OF HAVING TWO GIRLS:
1. Rarely noisy
2. Help around the house
3. Very few fights and arguments
4. Quite easy to reason with
5. Play together nicely
6. Rarely ignore each other
7. They confide in you
8. Very well behaved
9. Rarely try to wind each other up
10. Really like each other
NEGATIVES OF HAVING FOUR GIRLS:
1. Fight and argue all the time
2. Difficult to reason with
3. Ignore and dislike each other
4. Bedtime routine is a nightmare
5. Create a lot of noise around the house
6. Rarely confide in you
7. Hard to deal with when ill
8. Takes ages getting ready for school
9. Had to buy a bigger house and car
10. Hard to cope with on a daily basis
How good are you at taking a compliment? Smile gracefully and gratefully while still managing to seem modest about the wonders that make you ‘you’? Or do you mumble, look at the floor and say something along the lines of ‘My hair? It is awful, isn’t it? All fell out after the babies, and will never be the same again’. Or ‘It is a nice coat, thank you. But if only I were taller it would look so much better. And as for the mark on the collar, it’s been a long time since the last dry-cleaning appointment’. Meanwhile the complimenter is probably backing away, wishing he or she had never tried to be nice.
When it comes to compliments directed at my children, I’m not much better. After the eldest had a playdate last week, the mother kindly said how lovely his manners were. ‘Not at home!’ I replied, even though he is pretty good at minding his p&qs. In the school line at pick-up, a mother remarked that her son had said how funny another of my sons was, ‘He has them in stitches, apparently’. Instead of thanking her politely, I looked at the floor and mumbled, ‘Funny ha ha, I bet, little monkey’, and beat a hasty, blushing retreat.
I’m not saying I want to shout out my children’s achievements from the rooftops, or dance a jig every time someone says something nice about them. But I genuinely find accepting compliments on their behalf blush-making.
Perhaps it’s because we’ve all been collared by the pushy parent who bangs on about their child’s every move, down to the fact that their feet have gone up a shoe size in less than a month. Or maybe I’m afraid that once I start talking about how wonderful my offspring are, I’ll never stop. I am extremely interested in everything they do, and very proud. But I know that the delight I take in my two-year-old learning to cut up his fish fingers for the first time is unlikely to seem quite as fascinating to anyone else.
If someone gives a genuine compliment, it’s rude not to accept it. I know that. I know that I’m either implying that they’re not telling the truth, or that their judgement is flawed. Or both. So why I feel the need to paraphrase my standard answer to a clothing compliment by saying, ‘Oh, this young thing? Had him in the wardrobe for ages’, whenever someone is nice about my children?
Help!
I’ve got Free Range Kids, the inspiring parenting movement headed by the wry and witty Lenore Skenazy, to thank for this post. We’ve an interview with her here, and if you’ve never visited her website, go and see if you agree that the restrictions we, as parents, put on our children have got out of hand.
This particular post is about traffic. There’s a lot of it about, and the thought of letting children navigate it on their own is terrifying. But they do have to learn to cross the road. And just take a look at this 11-year-old boy in Libya. Lack of traffic officers in opposition-held Benghazi has led to Ayman Samir taking on responsibility instead. If you look at the video you’ll see he’s pretty good at it.
If T S Eliot measured out his life in coffee spoons, the same could be said for mine with cups of tea. I certainly make a lot of it. Roughly one in three actually gets drunk, the rest barely make it beyond the stage in the photograph below, known roughly as ‘Pour boiling water over tea bag, leave to stew, forget about it while mopping/feeding/picking up various children’.
I do love a nice cuppa.
Opening a new box of Twinings earlier, I discovered that the tea came in a nice, glittery gold pouch that was biodegradable and could be composted. The box itself, being made of cardboard, could be recycled. Which made me ask the question: why do so few other manufacturers produce such good packaging?
I really hate the volume of rubbish our household produces. At least two bags of recyling each week, and two normal bin bags. We try to reduce it by making compost, taking unused items to the charity shop, and giving away clothes and toys that the children have outgrown. But there’s still so much of the darned stuff.
For inspiration on reducing our throw-away tally, I often head to The Rubbish Diet. What started as an eight-week blog about trying to slim a bin has been going for three years. The founder, Karen Cannard, writes movingly about a visit to a landfill site that reduced her to tears. She has been a finalist in numerous awards, including 2009 Media Guardian Awards for Innovation. It’s full of tips and ideas on how to find recycling facilities in your area, how to compost and even to convert your unworn clothes into cash at The Worldwide Fashion Exchange.
So I’m going to try harder. I still don’t quite know what I’ll do with the washed out yoghurt pots that I’m saving, but I will definitely think twice the next time I buy something. ‘Do I really need it?’ ‘Is the packaging recyclable?’ and ‘Is there a more environmentally friendly alternative?’ And at least I’ve a guilt-free cup of tea to help me on my way.
I’m a fan of the ‘try it’ philosophy when it comes to food, giving the children loads of different tastes, and while keeping treats in moderation, never banning them. Otherwise I fear they’ll grow up yearning for forbidden fruit in the form of tubs of Pringles or e-riddled lollipops. All in moderation, say I, and as I’m the one that does the cooking in our house, I decide what gets eaten. We eat loads of fruit and vegetables, a balanced mix of carbs and protein, and lots of treats. Because I’m not a nutritionist my philosophy is along the lines of, ‘Well, they’ve already had an apple, pear, glass of orange juice, spaghetti bolognaise with six vegetables in it, will a sherbet dib dab really hurt?’.
But I admit that I do consciously sneak a lot of extra goodness into food. So in honour of today’s Twitter party, all about Secret Goodness over at British Mummy Bloggers blog, here’s what I do. If you like any of the ideas, you’re welcome for dinner anytime you like.
Goodness, I’m hungry. Must be nearly lunchtime. I’m sure there’s a banana split downstairs with my name on.
Thank you to the queen of tarts!
My mother stayed last week, and as usual spent much of her time baking. How good is that? Chocolate caramel squares, jam tarts, lemon meringue pie were all fabulous January mood lifters, and the children, as you can imagine, were literally eating out of her hand. To temper the sweet treats she also made fish pie and bolognaise, both of which she crammed with vegetables. It was a balanced diet, and I had no problem about child #3 taking in a jam tart for his nursery snack. His lovely teacher, alas, wasn’t so impressed. “It’s supposed to be a healthy snack” she confirmed, “Something like rice cakes or some dried fruit”. Fair enough, though the jam was homemade, as was the pastry. Virtually no salt, and not that much sugar; as treats go the jam tart was relatively saintly. And when I checked another nursery-recommended ‘healthy treat’ it didn’t do badly by comparison.
A go ahead! low-calorie biscuit proclaimed the fact it contains no artificial colours or flavours. So far, so like the homemade jam tart. However, what it also contains are more ingredients than you can count, including all kinds of not especially delicious sounding things like Dextrose Monohydrate and Acidity Regulators. Eat two slices and you’ll get 14g of sugar, around 15% of a child’s recommended daily allowance.
So I’m not convinced the ‘healthy’ snack is actually that good for you.
The problem seems to be that we’re all very easily swayed by packaging. As soon as a product pronounces that it’s, for example, ’sugar-free’ or ‘low fat’ we tend to switch off to its other less benign aspects. I’m not saying homemade is always synonymous with healthy, but at least it has the virtue of the baker knowing exactly what’s gone into it.
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