Blogger Littlemummy is hosting a guest post day as one lesson in her 10-part weekly Mum E Blogger Course. It’s free to join (though if you would like to receive the course all at once, it’s available for £8.99) and is extremely useful, whether you’re a seasoned blogger, or a newbie just learning the ropes.

The idea of the guest post day (which was officially held on Friday 5^th March, and I’m sorry that Sleep is for the Weak and I are a little bit late with our swap) is to forge links between bloggers, and help teach about the virtues of reciprocal links. Josie, who writes Sleep is for the Weak, doesn’t need an introduction to many in the parent blogging world. Currently ranking at number five in the Top 100 Parent Blogger’s index, she’s an inspiration to many with her weekly creative writing prompts. She’s also the founder of Judith’s Room, an online writing forum for women. We’re thrilled to have her posting at angels & urchins, and know her post will have resonance for many of those reading.

Why I am proud to be a Mummy Blogger

I pause at the door, listening to the soft sounds of my son’s breathing as he settles to sleep, my own deep sigh of relief mingling with his. It has been a long day. It’s always been a long day.

I shut the door and tiptoe down the stairs. My (well-trained) husband has already made me a cup of tea and it waits by my laptop along with quiet space, interrupted time and a whole other world, a whole other life. One in which I’m not the tired, washed out housewife I see when I look in a mirror, struggling with confidence and doubt and worry.

No. Here I am something else. Writer, Blogger, confident deliverer of witty banter and someone, it seems, that people actually quite like to know.

To say that blogging saved my sanity is an understatement.

What began, 10 months ago, as a bit of fun, a way to de-stress after a hard day and try to get my ‘porridge brain’ back into some kind of working order, quickly evolved into something else entirely. I got to write out whatever was in my head, some of it was funny but a lot of it was raw and sometimes painfully honest. I didn’t always like being a mum and writing seemed to make me want to be honest about that. Motherhood for me seemed mostly about feeling tired and overwhelmed, struggling with a ‘challenging’ toddler whom I adored but who left me feeling completely out of my depth most of the time. Extreme sleep deprivation, tantrums, developmental worries. I wasn’t entirely sure how I was supposed to feel about it all.

But by writing it out, somehow it lost its hold. Because, you know what? Turns out a lot of people felt the EXACT same way.

That was the surprise. Because the off-loading? The random writing about whatever I happened to be mulling over that day? Turns out people read this stuff! And commented! And, oh my goodness wait a minute… THEY wrote blogs too! Wonderful blogs, full of humour and variety and written by a multitude of inspirational and intelligent mums and dads.

I was hooked. COMPLETELY.

Blogging began to be the thing that got me through a stressful day. The golden chalice of nap times and long evenings where I could escape my humdrum mummydom for a moment and flex my creative muscles. It began a love-affair with words and writing that had simmered, forgotten, since I was teenager, and that encouraged me to change my study plans, my life plans actually, and take up Creative Writing as a degree. That in turn led to me starting a weekly writing workshop on the blog as a way for me to connect with other would-be writers and which, surprisingly, people loved, somehow managing to tap in to a shared need of many bloggers wanting to develop their writing but struggling to find inspiration. And THAT in turn lead to the creation of Judith’s Room, a space for women writers specifically, who, more than their male counterparts, often seem so riddled with low confidence and a difficulty in claiming and being proud of their achievements. It’s led to new projects, new opportunities. Genuinely a whole new world for me.

It’s been quite a ride. And one that has been increasingly shared with many new friends along the way. REAL friends, many of whom I now can’t imagine my life without.

It’s not all cake and ice cream though, it has to be said. Like all ‘communities’, blogging has its ups and downs. Finding your way in such a rapidly growing field of interest can be a bit mind-boggling at times. Things like stats, the promise of PR pitches (even if they are for silly things like liquorice), and an inevitable desire to achieve recognition and make your voice heard, can sometimes leave you prone to what I usually refer to as the ‘bloggers wobble’. It’s easy to feel like a little fish in a very big pond, easy to feel like the new kid on the edge of the playground, longingly watching the cool kids play.

But the freedom (and the fun) comes when you realise we’re ALL cool kids in this playground. Because we’re all in it together, muddling our way through parenting our children and figuring out what on earth we’re supposed to be doing. Read enough blogs, connect with enough people and you’re ALWAYS going to find someone you can relate to, who makes you feel less alone, less incompetent. Who makes you laugh or makes you think. Who just makes you feel BETTER. You are going to come away feeling good about yourself, as a person and as a parent.

And that’s what I love.

OK, so blogging isn’t going to make me rich. In monetary terms anyway, but it is enriching my life, my friendships, my self esteem, inspiring my creativity and my ambition, in ways I never could have imagined.

It’s making me a better person, and a better parent.

 So, that’s why, quite frankly, I think it’s ace and why I’m going to keep on doing what I’m doing.

 Viva la Mummy Blogolution. Long may it continue.

Lenore Skenazy: our favourite free-range friend

When New Yorker Lenore Skenazy let her nine-year-old ride solo on the subway, she wrote about it in the paper she worked for, The New York Sun. Overnight, the reaction to her ‘daring’ caused her to be invited on talk shows across the country, later the world, and become branded ‘America’s worst mom’. Her experience spawned a website, a book (£12.63 at Amazon, incl. p&p) and an entire parenting movement, Free-Range Kids. As a Londoner with young children, it had particular resonance.

Free-Range Kids is a wry and witty look at the restrictions that we, as a society, place upon our children. Skenazy makes you look at your actions as a parent in a new light – so much so that you expect to see a cartoon bulb pop up, while you scratch your head and think, ‘Oh yes, it is a two-minute walk to his friend’s house, I suppose he could actually make it there by himself, possibly even in one piece’. Lenore’s thoughts transcend geographical borders, and are particularly relevant to children based in a large city where many parents (the angels & urchins team included) are terrified to let children run free, let alone walk round the corner.

We all worry about something happening to our children. But if you’ve too terrified to let your child ride a bike to the library, take a bus on their own, or walk alone to school, have a read and a think at Free-Range Kids. As Lenore puts it, she believes in helmets, car seats and safety belts as much as the next mum. She also feels equally passionately that every time school age children go outside, they do not need a security detail. As she puts it, ‘most of us grew up Free-Range and lived to tell the tale. Our kids deserve no less’.

Lenore, what first made you think that Western parents were prone to bubble-wrapping their children?
A couple of years ago my neighbor Melissa was telling a bunch of us moms about her trip to the giant grocery, Costco. She was there with her two daughters, aged two and five, when the lady behind her in the line tapped her on the shoulder and said, “Would you mind watching my son for a second? I forgot to get paper towels.” The lady’s son was about a year old, he was sitting in the grocery cart – you know, with his legs sticking out – and Melissa said, “Fine!” so off the mom went.

But as Melissa told this tale she paused to say, “Can you BELIEVE she did that?”

“Did what?” asked I.

 “Lenore! I could have taken her baby and she would NEVER HAVE SEEN HIM AGAIN!”

Really? Let’s think for a sec what would have had to have happened for that tragedy to transpire. First off, Melissa would have had to have abandoned her grocery cart AND hustled her own two kids AND the other lady’s baby past a line of stunned shoppers, AND the check-out lady AND the person guarding the door who makes sure you paid for all your items.

THEN she’d have to drag them all through the parking lot AND remember where she was parked, AND unlock the doors, all while holding a squirming baby under one arm and her two-year-old by the hand, with her five-year-old hanging onto her arm, ALL of them crying and at least one of them probably wailing, “Mommy! Why are you stealing that lady’s baby?” (And, “Why aren’t we buying our Pop Tarts? You promised!!!”)

She’d have to get all three kids into the car and buckle them into car seats – and she’d have to have brought along an extra one for the baby she hoped to one day kidnap – and then she’d have to hop in and gun her SUV across state lines and NO ONE would have called the police on their mobile or said something like, “Uh, lady, stop!”?

The scenario was so ludicrous I told Melissa she was nuts, because not only was she imagining the world full of paedophiles, in this particular scenario SHE would have had to have been one – a crazed kidnapper with two kids of her own whose lucky moment just happened to arrive out of the blue in the check-out line!
What gobsmacked me is that when Melissa told her story to most of our mutual mommy friends, they all agreed that the other lady was an absolutely terrible, irresponsible mother who was just lucky her son wasn’t abducted.

THAT’S when I realized that most Western parents have gone crazy (since you asked). Most parents today think that ANY situation involving ANYONE but themselves (or a hired professional) interacting with their kids is a recipe for doom. Everyone is suspect, and every child is unsafe if left unsupervised for even a minute or two.

Anyway, that whole Melissa thing was about five years ago. Then, last year, when I let my nine-year-old ride the subway alone and wrote a newspaper column about it – he was fine, he loved it! – I ended up on almost every radio and TV show in America (and a few in Britain) having to explain myself. I told host after host that I let him go NOT because I had a point to prove or didn’t care if he lived or died. No, I did it because I trusted him, and my city, and my parenting. For all that I got dubbed, “America’s Worst Mom.” (Go ahead and Google it.)

Why did you decide to launch your Free-Range Kids website?
I decided to launch Free-Range Kids the weekend after I wrote the subway column. I was so shaken by so many people accusing me of not caring about my son that I wanted to set the record straight, via a blog. As it says right on there on the home page, I BELIEVE in safety. I just believe that kids also need a chance to get out there and do some things on their own. Free-Range Kids is a commonsense approach to parenting in uncommonly overprotective times.

Did the book happen swiftly afterwards? 
The book happened so swiftly that it’s lucky I’m a newspaper reporter, and write fast. It was exactly a year from the subway column to the hardcover book hitting the stands. (The paperback comes out this spring.) By the way, it could use a British publisher!

Are there any other Western countries that seem less rigid? 
I’d say all of the non-English speaking ones! Almost everywhere in the world except my country and yours and Canada and perhaps Australia, kids walk to school on their own starting in first grade. It’s not considered radical or dangerous – it’s just normal! But here, kids are driven right up to the door. In fact, some Parent Teacher Associations have started auctioning off the drop-off space right in front of the school. A space that, if it were in front of a dentist’s office, or a mall, would be reserved for handicapped parking. But nowadays, parents are vying for the opportunity to treat their kids like invalids. That’s the sign of a “good parent.” A helicopter, don’t-do-anything-that-could-strain-yourself-honey parent. Other countries, meanwhile, still value self-reliance and encourage this in their kids. In Denmark, babies sleep outside. In Finland, they ski to school. In Germany, they play in the park without their parents right there. In Spain too. And let’s not even talk about kids in the developing world, who help their parents plant seeds and run shops as soon as they can do the least little bit.

On what Free-Range issue do other parents most often disagree with you?
Whether or not to let kids go outside on their own, ever. The fact is, here in America, the crime rate today is lower than it was in the 70s or 80s and early 90s when most of us parents were kids. So there is no reason not to let kids do the things outside that we did. Ride bikes in the neighborhood, knock on a friend’s door to say, “Come out and play!” And yet most parents today are terrified to let their kids do any of that.

The disagreement comes when I say, “Your parents were responsible and they let you play outside.” And they say, “Yes, but times have changed.” Or, “If anything happened, I couldn’t live with myself.” They immediately see in their mind’s eye the Worst Case Scenario and it’s really hard to speak rationally when they’re envisioning the headlines and feeling their tears well up. But anyway: the truth is our parents couldn’t have lived with themselves, either. And yet they didn’t focus on the 1 in a million chance of something horrible and headline-worthy happening. They focused on the things their kids needed besides excessive safety. Kids need fresh air! They need time to be creative! They need to learn how to wrestle their way out of boredom and make up games and get to know the neighborhood and poke through acorns and leaves and crabapples and become one with the world. They can’t do all of that with us dragging them off to Mandarin lessons and homework and supervised play time one foot away from us. They need to grow up, not be pruned like lovely, stunted Bonsai trees.

What’s the craziest restriction on children you’ve heard of?
A grandma who was sitting in her allergist’s waiting room reading the newspaper with a magnifying glass. A little boy of about three came over to her and she was delightedly showing him how the magnifying glass makes the letters BIGGER when the boy’s mother swooped in and grabbed him away, saying, “He has to learn FAST not to talk to strangers!” She’s teaching him that even when his mother is around, even when he’s in an enclosed space, even when he’s talking to a woman so old she needs to use a magnifying glass to read the paper, HE IS NOT SAFE. In other words: He is NEVER safe, anywhere.

And then there are the parents who drive their kids from the garage down to the bottom of the driveway to wait for the school bus because they think it’s too dangerous for their kids to wait in front of the house by themselves.

And I hear a lot more. Read the blog (www.freerangekids.com). There are millions of ‘em!

Are things likely to change?
They already are. The fact that “Free-Range Kids” is already a recognized movement is great. So is the fact that a lot of studies are coming out that prove that the most beneficial thing kids can do is… play! Free-play develops their minds, bodies, coordination, imagination, communication – you name it. That’s why all primates come into the world primed to play. We thwart that instinct at our peril!

I’m sorry to say that while I don’t live in Britain I hear from you folks on a daily basis and get some of my craziest stories from your shores. I am shocked and dismayed, for instance, at the new law requiring children’s authors to get a background check to prove they are not convicted child rapists before they are allowed to give a talk at a school. So even if J.K. Rowling was game to speak to your kids’ class, she’d have to show up with that official piece of paper before she’d be allowed in. I was thrilled to see some of the authors protesting this “Everyone is a paedophile until proven otherwise” provision, and I hope that other Brits will follow suit. It’s a disgusting – and inaccurate – way of looking at the world. Let’s not raise our kids as if they’re living in a nightmare.  Infant mortality is down. Most childhood diseases have been conquered. Most people are decent.

Rejoice.

And go Free-Range

P.S. I’d LOVE to come lecture in your country, so invite me! Australia already has and they’re further away!

The team at angels&urchins is often asked about blogging. ‘What’s it all about’, ‘Why do it’, and ‘How do you get started?’ all come up as frequently as questions about what to do during the holidays. So we decided to ask the mother of them all, A Modern Mother to let us in on the tricks of the trade. This very readable blog is incredibly popular, and currently at number one in the Tots 100 UK’s Top Parenting Blogs. An American by birth, A Modern Mother has lived in the UK since getting married and having three children within three years. As she puts it, ‘starting a blog was cheaper than therapy’. Just over a year ago she started the British Mummy Blogger’s Carnival, a selection of the best posts from the previous fortnight. angels&urchins blog is proud to be in the latest one at YummyMummyTips. Start your  own blog and you could be hosting your own carnival – read all about it, and everything else to do with the mummy blogging, below.

Mummy, or “mommy” blogging, a huge phenomenon in the US, is just starting to take hold in the UK. A staggering 36 million women worldwide participate in “blogosphere” every week and fifteen million women have their own blogs. A growing number of these women are British.

I’ve put together this guide to help mums who are interested in creating a blog, but have no idea where to start. I assume a bit of technical savvy (such as you know how to surf the internet) but in no way do you have to be an IT expert. I’m not, and trust me, if I can do it, so can you.

So what are you waiting for? Sit back, have a read and get blogging!

What is a blog and why would I want to start one? A blog is a shortened version of a “web log”. A “mummy blog” is where mums write about their experiences of motherhood. Being a mum can be isolating. Some mums really enjoy the opportunity to connect with other mums who are going through similiar life events. 

Blogging can be a sense of light relief and accomplishment. It’s not for everyone, but many women enjoy it. Watch out, it can be addictive! And it’s not just mums who blog, there are some excellent blogs out there written by authors with dangly bits, like Single Parent Dad. 

How do I get started? Get a free Google Blogger account and start writing! You’ll need to pick a name for your blog. This is probably one of the more important decisions you’ll make. There are lots of blogs out there, so pick a name that makes you stand out a bit.

Should I be anonymous? Many British Mummy Bloggers are anonymous, though more are “coming out”. Being anonymous “takes the gloves off” and gives you the freedom to write whatever you want, without offending anyone. It also limits the amount of information about you and your family in a public forum like the Internet. You can make up names for your children, such as I do on my site. There are many clever anonymous bloggers out there, such as The Potty Diaries, Nappy Valley and Bush Babies.

Buy your URL. If you don’t want anyone else to use the clever name you’ve picked for yourself, go to a registration service such as 123Reg or DynoNames and buy the rights to the domain name. You can buy the .co.uk domain and get free privacy (hide your contact details on the register) for about £6. If you’re really serious about it, buy the .com domain as well, with privacy (which I highly suggest) it’s about £30.

Create a short biog. In addition to your blog name, you will need to write a short biography about yourself. It can be as short as a couple of sentences, or more indepth. This is your chance to make your blog stand out (in marketing it is called positioning). The Times Alpha Mummy, for example, is for mums or dads “who work, used to work, or want to go back to work someday”.

What do I write about and how often? Write about whatever strikes your fancy – a reaction to something you read in the paper, something you did today or something that you feel strongly about. A blog is a bit like a diary. I often just sit down in a quiet place and start writing, without taking the pen off the paper and keeping the pen moving. Eventually something coherent, and occasionally meaningful, comes out. Also, you don’t need to have a degree in Creative Writing or have been a journalist to start a blog (though it helps). Most bloggers update their sites at least once a week.

Which publishing tool should I use? Google’s Blogger is free and is very popular. If you want more flexibility, try Typepad Typepad or Wordpress, though there is a minimal cost associated with these tools.

How do I get readers? The main way to get readers, is to be a reader. Go to this list of the Best British Mummy Bloggers and start making your way through the list. If you like what you read, make a comment. One of the unwritten rules of mummy blogging is to return comments. If you really like a blog, add it to your blogroll. Also, join an online community, such as British Mummy Bloggers and Blogher. Also, register your blog on Technorati.

What is a blogroll? Your blogroll is your list of favourite blogs. Call it what you like — chum’s blogs, blogs I read, or just plain blogroll. Create a list on the side of your blog and get reading!

What is RSS and why should I care? RSS stands for “Really Simple Syndication”. You need to add an RSS feed to your site so people can subscribe, it is an easy way for blogs to send updates to their readers. An RSS feed provides a list of recent content posted on a blog, with links to each new page. When you subscribe to an RSS feed, you’re automatically notified whenever new content that’s of interest to you is posted. Still confused? Watch this video “Google Reader in Plain English“.

Should I use photos and how? Photos add a lot to a post. You can take your own, or use some of the free stock photography that is available. Flickr is also a good source of photos. Make sure you search under the “Creative Commons” license and always give your photographer credit. You should compress all photos for web use, so that you don’t turn people off with long loading times. To do this, get a free photo editing tool off the web (such as Picasaweb). My laptop came with Microsoft Office Picture Editor, which is easy enough to use and does most things I need.

Security Remember that everything you write is “out there.” There are all kinds of weirdos and pervs out there, so be careful about what you write, never give your address, etc. Beware even if you go anonymous, a hacker could find out pretty much whatever he wants. You may not want to publish any photos of your kids, for example. Also, beware of trolls, people who harass you online.

Should I carry ads? Many of the mums in the US make money from their blogs. Checkout Google Ad Sense and Blogher. I run ads on my site, but honestly, I don’t make much money – barely made enough to fuel my coffee habit.

How else can I expand my readership? Thames Valley Mums Blog and London Mums Blog are community blogs that take contributions from the blogging community. If you are interested being exposed to a new readership, you may want to enquire about being a contributor.

If you have any questions about mummy blogging and how to get started, leave a comment below. Experienced bloggers — please leave a comment too with some of your tips. I’ll update this page as I get more info and feedback, so make sure you check back.

Could almost do the laundry at the same time...

Radio Berkshire described Melissa Talagao as a ‘bit of a supermum’. We can only agree, but might beef up the ‘bit’. Melissa has two children under five, runs a public relations agency called Peekaboo Communications, and writes More to Life Than Laundry, one of the UK’s most read family blogs. Earlier in the year, after seeing an advert in The Sunday Times, Melissa successfully applied to the Clipper Round the World yacht race. She talks to angels & urchins about life on the ocean wave, a rigorous training schedule, and how she’s going to cope without her two children.

South African born, lived in the US, and settled in the UK. Will this cure your itchy feet?
Probably not! I love travelling and it’s not something I’ve done much of since having children. But this race isn’t really about seeing new places. It’s quite simply about doing something entirely different from my day to day routine. Something that is just for me. Life as a mum often feels like groundhog day. You rush around doing the same exhausting routine day after day and it’s easy to lose sight of you as a person. I wanted to rediscover me and challenge myself in a completely different way.

How have you fitted the training in around your other commitments?
Being my own boss, it wasn’t a case of asking for time off to do the training, but it did mean having to squeeze all my work into even less time, which meant working many, many nights. My clients have been incredibly supportive, and we’ve timed their PR activity so that it didn’t coincide with me not being around. I’ve now also got a great team of freelancers looking after things. Childcare has been the biggest nightmare. I don’t have any of my family in the country, and my husband has a very demanding job that takes him out of the country a lot. I’ve had to fit in four weeks of training, and each week required me finding someone to look after the boys. It’s been a juggle between my husband, my sister-in-law who kindly took a week’s leave and travelled down from Lancashire, friends and a nanny. I wrote ‘A List of All Things’, which explained exactly which child needed to be where on any given day, where things could be found and what I’d stocked the fridge with.
I set sail in less than two weeks time and before I can goI have to wrap up all my client work (including sorting out month end accounts and VAT returns), organise my son’s fourth birthday party (and hold it), pack all my sailing kit (ensuring it weighs less than 20kgs – a challenge!), get my boys back to school (not to mention sewing in all the sodding name tapes on kit), and write the biggest ‘List of All Things’ ever. The biggest challenges will be missing my boys, having to live with 18 strangers in a 68 foot long space for 6 weeks, facing everything the ocean can throw at us and dealing with sea sickness. And then having to re-adjust to normal life when I get back!

When do you expect to return to the UK?
I set sail on 13 September and I land back in the country on 26 October, just in time for half term. I won’t be able to see the children while I’m away because it is just too expensive to have them, and my husband, fly out to Rio to meet me. Hopefully they’ll all be happy to see me when I get back, but given the nanny irons my husband’s boxer shorts  (I don’t), and does extensive craft activities with the kids (I’m rubbish at crafts), they might prefer her!

What little treats and keepsakes are you taking with you to keep up morale?
 As you only get 20kgs of luggage including your wet weather gear, sailing boots and sleeping bag, we can’t take much. I’ll have an  iPod and one book for entertainment. And I’ll take a picture of my husband and boys. My treat (actually it’s more of a survival tool) is a bag of crystallised ginger as it helps prevent sea sickness.

What are you most looking forward to on return?
I’m actually quite terrified about the return because I know I will step off a boat having lived without a shower for weeks, having faced huge seas and life changing moments, only to pick up exactly where I left off – doing the dishes and piles of laundry. It’s going to take a lot of adjustment. But it will be wonderful to see my boys and to give them loads of  kisses and cuddles. And I guess having a shower and flushing toilet will be nice too!

Who are you raising money for? How can angels & urchins readers donate?
To do just one leg of this race costs about £8000 and that’s before you start adding on the cost of all the kit you need to buy, flights, hotels, insurance and the nanny! I’m also supporting the race charity – The Phillip Green Memorial Trust, a charity that looks after ill and disabled children. If angels & urchins’ readers would like to help, they can to go More to Life Than Laundry and click on the donate now button. As I have to sail 5,300 nautical miles, I’ve asked people to sponsor me £2 a mile. One pound goes to help cover my costs and the other pound goes to the charity.

And finally, any advice for mums wanting a similar adventure?
Just do it! There were so many reasons why I shouldn’t do this. But life is short. You never know what’s going to happen tomorrow. You could wait until your children are older or work gets less busy or life is less frenetic, but you could be waiting a long time and you might not get another chance. And just because you’re a mother, doesn’t mean you aren’t entitled to still be you. Ditch the guilt and discover what else you can be. I firmly believe that my doing this is setting a good example for my children – it’s showing them that just because something is a challenge, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take it on.

How do you eat an elephant? In bite-sized chunks! The seemingly impossible is very possible if you just set your mind to it.

A bit different to the view from the Waitrose car park

In the first of a series of guest blogs for angels & urchins, Nappy Valley Girl writes about her experiences across the Atlantic. While there’s plenty she misses about lovely London, sea air and endless beaches go some way to making up for it. Despite the chiggers.

When I moved from Southwest London to Long Island, New York State a few months ago, I was regretfully aware that I was leaving behind one of the most child-friendly urban areas in the world. On the plus side, I was gaining more space, a sea view and proximity to one of the world’s  most exciting cities. There are things I love about the place that will now be our home for three years, and things that drive me crazy. But, as always, being away from home makes me appreciate the positives about London…

Five things I love about London
1. Park cafes. At home, days with my two little boys revolved around Clapham Common bandstand cafe, Common Ground on Wandsworth Common and Dulwich Park café. While there is no shortage of parks and playgrounds here, I have yet to find anywhere that I can hang out with other mums on a ‘playdate’ (sorry, am picking up the lingo already) and share a decent latte and cake. It just doesn’t happen, although I have an inkling of why. Most people’s houses are huge, and can easily take a marauding horde of children without major collateral damage…
2. Eating outside without getting eaten alive. When it’s hot on Long Island, it’s generally humid – and cue mosquitoes in their thousands. I now lather myself in a toxic-smelling product called ‘Backwoods Cutter’ every day. This is supposed to repel not only mosquitoes but ticks, flies, gnats, ‘chiggers’ (what?) and fleas. And probably humans as well. Meanwhile I am constantly checking the boys for ticks and worrying that they’ll step in poison ivy. Give me good old British stinging nettles any time.
3. (Mostly) good driving. New York drivers are quite simply, atrocious; talking on mobiles, cutting corners, driving in the middle of the road. There are also a suspicious number of cars sporting large dents. We found out why when my husband had to take his New York State driving test last week. The test took precisely three minutes, during which time he drove around two suburban streets,  performed a three point turn and parked. ‘Nuff said.
4. British reserve. In London, people do not ask you direct questions such as how much you earn, how much your house cost to rent, what you are paying in nursery fees.  Here, such direct questions appear to be completely normal. They’re not being rude. They just want to know.
5. The BBC. Well, we can still listen to BBC radio. But come on Beeb, when are you going to make iPlayer available internationally? We miss CBeebies, Eastenders and Have I Got News for You? And even the American TV shows I like (House, Grey’s Anatomy, Mad Men) are ruined by the constant interruption of ads, unless you record them.
Five things I love about the US
1. Parks with water fountains. This is a great idea and one that London could definitely adopt. The local playgrounds all feature an array of specially built sprinklers for children to play in when it’s hot. Our nearest one even has buckets which fill up and then tip out over their heads, resulting in great hilarity. A great way to keep little ones cool and entertained on a muggy summer’s day.
2. Weekends at the beach. In my old life, going to the beach was something we only ever did on holidays. Here, the nearest beach is a stone’s throw away and within an hour’s drive are fantastic state parks, with white sand beaches, dunes and surf. Everyone takes a picnic, and has a blast.
3. Friendly folks. The postman came and introduced himself personally, the neighbours immediately invited us to a barbecue. Americans usually go out of their way to be friendly. In London, it took me years to know the neighbours, and our postman and I only exchanged words when he posted someone else’s letters through my door, yet again.
4. The New York Times. Fantastic, especially at weekends, when it comes with as many supplements as The Sunday Times, but of far higher quality. I particularly love the page after page of film reviews, book review section which actually reviews books I would read, and mouthwatering ‘dining’ section.
 5. Fantastic shopping. Whether it’s a mall with all your favourite clothing brands, a branch of ‘Target’ (think Woolies, but 10 ten times better and cheaper, and still going) or the fantastic ‘Bed, Bath & Beyond’, you can find anything you need in American within about ten minutes. You can always park. And your favourite stores send you discount coupons all the time.

Read more at Nappy Valley Girl. And let blog angels & urchins know what you love about where you live, whether it’s Brook Green or Brooklyn.