Could almost do the laundry at the same time...

Radio Berkshire described Melissa Talagao as a ‘bit of a supermum’. We can only agree, but might beef up the ‘bit’. Melissa has two children under five, runs a public relations agency called Peekaboo Communications, and writes More to Life Than Laundry, one of the UK’s most read family blogs. Earlier in the year, after seeing an advert in The Sunday Times, Melissa successfully applied to the Clipper Round the World yacht race. She talks to angels & urchins about life on the ocean wave, a rigorous training schedule, and how she’s going to cope without her two children.

South African born, lived in the US, and settled in the UK. Will this cure your itchy feet?
Probably not! I love travelling and it’s not something I’ve done much of since having children. But this race isn’t really about seeing new places. It’s quite simply about doing something entirely different from my day to day routine. Something that is just for me. Life as a mum often feels like groundhog day. You rush around doing the same exhausting routine day after day and it’s easy to lose sight of you as a person. I wanted to rediscover me and challenge myself in a completely different way.

How have you fitted the training in around your other commitments?
Being my own boss, it wasn’t a case of asking for time off to do the training, but it did mean having to squeeze all my work into even less time, which meant working many, many nights. My clients have been incredibly supportive, and we’ve timed their PR activity so that it didn’t coincide with me not being around. I’ve now also got a great team of freelancers looking after things. Childcare has been the biggest nightmare. I don’t have any of my family in the country, and my husband has a very demanding job that takes him out of the country a lot. I’ve had to fit in four weeks of training, and each week required me finding someone to look after the boys. It’s been a juggle between my husband, my sister-in-law who kindly took a week’s leave and travelled down from Lancashire, friends and a nanny. I wrote ‘A List of All Things’, which explained exactly which child needed to be where on any given day, where things could be found and what I’d stocked the fridge with.
I set sail in less than two weeks time and before I can goI have to wrap up all my client work (including sorting out month end accounts and VAT returns), organise my son’s fourth birthday party (and hold it), pack all my sailing kit (ensuring it weighs less than 20kgs – a challenge!), get my boys back to school (not to mention sewing in all the sodding name tapes on kit), and write the biggest ‘List of All Things’ ever. The biggest challenges will be missing my boys, having to live with 18 strangers in a 68 foot long space for 6 weeks, facing everything the ocean can throw at us and dealing with sea sickness. And then having to re-adjust to normal life when I get back!

When do you expect to return to the UK?
I set sail on 13 September and I land back in the country on 26 October, just in time for half term. I won’t be able to see the children while I’m away because it is just too expensive to have them, and my husband, fly out to Rio to meet me. Hopefully they’ll all be happy to see me when I get back, but given the nanny irons my husband’s boxer shorts  (I don’t), and does extensive craft activities with the kids (I’m rubbish at crafts), they might prefer her!

What little treats and keepsakes are you taking with you to keep up morale?
 As you only get 20kgs of luggage including your wet weather gear, sailing boots and sleeping bag, we can’t take much. I’ll have an  iPod and one book for entertainment. And I’ll take a picture of my husband and boys. My treat (actually it’s more of a survival tool) is a bag of crystallised ginger as it helps prevent sea sickness.

What are you most looking forward to on return?
I’m actually quite terrified about the return because I know I will step off a boat having lived without a shower for weeks, having faced huge seas and life changing moments, only to pick up exactly where I left off – doing the dishes and piles of laundry. It’s going to take a lot of adjustment. But it will be wonderful to see my boys and to give them loads of  kisses and cuddles. And I guess having a shower and flushing toilet will be nice too!

Who are you raising money for? How can angels & urchins readers donate?
To do just one leg of this race costs about £8000 and that’s before you start adding on the cost of all the kit you need to buy, flights, hotels, insurance and the nanny! I’m also supporting the race charity – The Phillip Green Memorial Trust, a charity that looks after ill and disabled children. If angels & urchins’ readers would like to help, they can to go More to Life Than Laundry and click on the donate now button. As I have to sail 5,300 nautical miles, I’ve asked people to sponsor me £2 a mile. One pound goes to help cover my costs and the other pound goes to the charity.

And finally, any advice for mums wanting a similar adventure?
Just do it! There were so many reasons why I shouldn’t do this. But life is short. You never know what’s going to happen tomorrow. You could wait until your children are older or work gets less busy or life is less frenetic, but you could be waiting a long time and you might not get another chance. And just because you’re a mother, doesn’t mean you aren’t entitled to still be you. Ditch the guilt and discover what else you can be. I firmly believe that my doing this is setting a good example for my children – it’s showing them that just because something is a challenge, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take it on.

How do you eat an elephant? In bite-sized chunks! The seemingly impossible is very possible if you just set your mind to it.

A bit different to the view from the Waitrose car park

In the first of a series of guest blogs for angels & urchins, Nappy Valley Girl writes about her experiences across the Atlantic. While there’s plenty she misses about lovely London, sea air and endless beaches go some way to making up for it. Despite the chiggers.

When I moved from Southwest London to Long Island, New York State a few months ago, I was regretfully aware that I was leaving behind one of the most child-friendly urban areas in the world. On the plus side, I was gaining more space, a sea view and proximity to one of the world’s  most exciting cities. There are things I love about the place that will now be our home for three years, and things that drive me crazy. But, as always, being away from home makes me appreciate the positives about London…

Five things I love about London
1. Park cafes. At home, days with my two little boys revolved around Clapham Common bandstand cafe, Common Ground on Wandsworth Common and Dulwich Park café. While there is no shortage of parks and playgrounds here, I have yet to find anywhere that I can hang out with other mums on a ‘playdate’ (sorry, am picking up the lingo already) and share a decent latte and cake. It just doesn’t happen, although I have an inkling of why. Most people’s houses are huge, and can easily take a marauding horde of children without major collateral damage…
2. Eating outside without getting eaten alive. When it’s hot on Long Island, it’s generally humid – and cue mosquitoes in their thousands. I now lather myself in a toxic-smelling product called ‘Backwoods Cutter’ every day. This is supposed to repel not only mosquitoes but ticks, flies, gnats, ‘chiggers’ (what?) and fleas. And probably humans as well. Meanwhile I am constantly checking the boys for ticks and worrying that they’ll step in poison ivy. Give me good old British stinging nettles any time.
3. (Mostly) good driving. New York drivers are quite simply, atrocious; talking on mobiles, cutting corners, driving in the middle of the road. There are also a suspicious number of cars sporting large dents. We found out why when my husband had to take his New York State driving test last week. The test took precisely three minutes, during which time he drove around two suburban streets,  performed a three point turn and parked. ‘Nuff said.
4. British reserve. In London, people do not ask you direct questions such as how much you earn, how much your house cost to rent, what you are paying in nursery fees.  Here, such direct questions appear to be completely normal. They’re not being rude. They just want to know.
5. The BBC. Well, we can still listen to BBC radio. But come on Beeb, when are you going to make iPlayer available internationally? We miss CBeebies, Eastenders and Have I Got News for You? And even the American TV shows I like (House, Grey’s Anatomy, Mad Men) are ruined by the constant interruption of ads, unless you record them.
Five things I love about the US
1. Parks with water fountains. This is a great idea and one that London could definitely adopt. The local playgrounds all feature an array of specially built sprinklers for children to play in when it’s hot. Our nearest one even has buckets which fill up and then tip out over their heads, resulting in great hilarity. A great way to keep little ones cool and entertained on a muggy summer’s day.
2. Weekends at the beach. In my old life, going to the beach was something we only ever did on holidays. Here, the nearest beach is a stone’s throw away and within an hour’s drive are fantastic state parks, with white sand beaches, dunes and surf. Everyone takes a picnic, and has a blast.
3. Friendly folks. The postman came and introduced himself personally, the neighbours immediately invited us to a barbecue. Americans usually go out of their way to be friendly. In London, it took me years to know the neighbours, and our postman and I only exchanged words when he posted someone else’s letters through my door, yet again.
4. The New York Times. Fantastic, especially at weekends, when it comes with as many supplements as The Sunday Times, but of far higher quality. I particularly love the page after page of film reviews, book review section which actually reviews books I would read, and mouthwatering ‘dining’ section.
 5. Fantastic shopping. Whether it’s a mall with all your favourite clothing brands, a branch of ‘Target’ (think Woolies, but 10 ten times better and cheaper, and still going) or the fantastic ‘Bed, Bath & Beyond’, you can find anything you need in American within about ten minutes. You can always park. And your favourite stores send you discount coupons all the time.

Read more at Nappy Valley Girl. And let blog angels & urchins know what you love about where you live, whether it’s Brook Green or Brooklyn.