There’s a bloggers’ guest post day happening today, organised by Little Mummy. angels & urchins blog was thrilled to hear it had drawn a swap with Very Bored in Catalunya. She’s got a lot to say from her expat home in Spain, despite professing that all she writes about are the “Utterings and mutterings of a stay at home mum with far too much time on her hands”. I love her blog because it gives an insight into something I’m always itching to do more of, namely live abroad. Here, she gives a first-hand account of the differing (and sometimes startlingly similar) parenting practices between the UK and Spain.

Bringing a child up in another culture does have you questioning who is right and which approaches are best. Are we as Brits over-cautious, or are all these Johnny foreigners too carefree or just downright careless?

You’d imagine that there would be many differences between the Spanish way of raising children, and the British way of doing things. Indeed, there are some definite cultural differences, but so many things are just the same.

Ear-piercing springs to mind. A much balked over affair in the UK, with most mums preferring to leave it as late as the obligatory battle of wills allows. Over here, it’s done routinely by the midwife shortly after giving birth. I can only think of one girl in Joseph’s school who doesn’t have her ears pierced. One of these days, I must remember to ask her mum why not. Most babies (male & female) also seem to wear lots of baby jewellery, necklaces and bracelets that in the UK would be considered a huge choking risk, I can’t say that I’ve ever heard of such an incident. There is also such a thing as Baby Cologne. I’m going to go all Peter Kay on you and say ‘Baby… Cologne? Cologne… for Babies?’ Indeed!

On the other hand the Spanish could be accused of being overprotective towards their newborn offspring. Newborns are rarely seen out. Not unless the weather is just right, by that I mean relatively warm, and even then the babies seem to have too many clothes on. Surely it isn’t necessary to wrap a baby in so many layers when it’s 25ºC? Again, I doubt you’ll find many a horror story of overheating being written about in the media, unlike in the UK where there are a couple of such incidents every year. British babies are generally bundled up and taken out much earlier in their little lives regardless of weather. I think however this is due to the grandparents playing a much larger part in day to day life in Spain, whereas most British women have to take the baby with them should they need to go out, Spanish women have good reliable babysitting options.

All the baby books tell us that it’s imperative that the child’s bedroom be kept at an ambient temperature of 18ºC. Well guess what, you’d probably find that only a couple of weeks a year would the air temperature actually be OK for you to heat or air condition a room to such a precise temperature. I wonder how all the babies born in hot countries ever survive? Ooh I know, maybe it’s because it’s all they know, and they get used to it very quickly. Joseph’s bedroom temperature ranges from 15ºC to 26ºC over the course of the year.

There are some other practices that I don’t approve of, the use of biscuits in milk, especially for bedtime.  But hey, are they any worse than rusks that us Brits regularly give our little dears to chomp on?

Then there’s the old gem of bedtimes and naps as they get older. You would imagine that all the children have a two-hour siesta, and are then up running around until 11pm every night. I certainly did. However on speaking with some of Joseph’s school friend’s mamas it turns out that they don’t nap anymore in the afternoon and are usually in bed for about 8pm, a little later on weekends and fiestas. Sounds familiar…

Well food then, that must be different. Surely all the local children will be tucking into sardines, paella, chorizo etc, with lashing of salad on the side. Huge lunches and then late, late dinners? Actually, nope! Whilst they will generally have their main meal at lunchtime and then sandwiches for tea, Spanish three-year olds it seems are just as fussy and picky as our own. Who would have thought it?

Attitudes to nurseries are probably one of the major differences between British and Spanish mothers. Over here no-one bats an eye when you put your child into nursery. There is certainly none of this working mother guilt trip that attacks most British mums. Although it’s generally not done before they reach their first birthday, practically every toddler will go to nursery fulltime regardless of whether their mother works or not. When you consider that our local village nursery costs just €90 a month for full-time childcare, it’s not surprising that the parents queue up the night before to ensure that their child can get a place on registration day. Also, there is only one intake a year, so if you miss that you have to wait until the following September.

Schooling is different too. While not compulsory until six, everyone sends their children to school at three, where they will begin a formal classroom-style education for five hours a day, with some homework at the weekends.

Toilet training takes place very early on. Most kids are dry by their second birthday, our policy of leaving the child until they are fully ready would probably be considered lazy, and a waste of money on nappies. I guess when the children start school at three you’d be unwise to leave it too late to tackle in case they weren’t fully toilet trained by the time they started school. I know of one daft English woman who left it until a couple of weeks before school term started before she started her son’s toilet training, and it was still a bit hit and miss for the first couple of weeks. Yep, that daft woman would be me.

Other parenting issues such as smacking and general discipline varies as you would expect from parent to parent but on the whole children are taught right from wrong and to be respectful to each other and their parents. Just as good British parents do.

The one resounding difference however is the general attitude towards all children over here. Children are much loved by all. The saying it takes a whole village to raise a child is very much a living and working thing here. Every mother knows the names of not just the children in her son or daughter’s class but the whole school. Shop keepers will have supplies of lollipops or sweets to give to the children (the dentists must do a roaring trade). Sadly back in the UK children are still considered by many as a nuisance, pests, things that should be seen and not heard.

Alice Griffin is a freelance writer, owner of perpetually itchy feet and author of Tales from a Travelling Mum (and we have a SIGNED COPY TO GIVE AWAY – leave a comment for your chance to win), a travelogue based around trips she embarked on during the first two years of her daughter’s life. Alice lives in England aboard a boat with husband Scott, daughter Isabella and their dog, Milla and is busy working on her second book, Travellers’ Tales. She explores the world whenever she gets the opportunity! Visit her website here and pick up plenty of tips on travelling with children.

What gave you the idea for the book?
I’ve always been an avid traveller, and when I fell pregnant with my daughter, Isabella, I decided that once she was born, as much as possible I wanted to continue the more independent style of travel I had always enjoyed. However it wasn’t until we sold up and opted out of our city life to go travelling around Europe in a campervan that writing specifically about travels with a baby crossed my mind.

I had decided to blog about this life-changing travel experience and as I began to connect with readers, I found that many were specifically interested in approaching such a trip with a then one-year-old. Due to this surprising interest I decided to contact some baby magazines with a view to writing about our experiences and from this came several articles.

When I began talks with my publisher about a possible travelogue, she suggested I consider a ‘how to’ guide on travelling with a baby. I was unsure as to whether I could write a whole book in this guidebook format and decided that if I simply shared our experiences as a family on the road, practical advice on how to approach different situations would naturally come from that. The result is a travelogue about the trips we embarked on during the first two years of Isabella’s life, peppered throughout with tips and advice. My hope is that this will give readers a more laid-back approach to travelling with children, rather than a formulated guide.

Life in the slow lane, by mule in Portugal

How old is Isabella now, and is there anywhere you wouldn’t take her?

Isabella recently turned three. I try to never wonder about why we should do a trip without Isabella, instead I always think about how we can do it with her. It is my belief that children should become part of their parent’s life and that most things really don’t have to be out of our grasp just because we now have children. Having said that, of course I am realistic and would never knowingly put my daughter in danger, or have her take part in a pastime that is inappropriate – bungee jumping in New Zealand is probably out at this stage – and I consider carefully what I feel she can deal with before planning a trip. This is partly the reason why in her first three years we have stayed within Europe, but in December 2010 we will be heading to Thailand for three weeks back-packing, because I believe that at three-and-a-half she will be ready for this destination and will gain a great deal from it.

Have you always had itchy feet? What was your first experience of being abroad?
My first holiday was to Madeira when I was five. At the time, my dad worked for an airport, and we were able to bag a cheap deal. I can still remember the unbelievable excitement of going on a plane, seeing faces and places that looked different; hearing new voices and sounds. After that trip I would often stare longingly at the atlas pondering all the places to go in the word.

As I grew older this desire to see more of the world became stronger, but it wasn’t until my early twenties, when I had the opportunity to spend six months in Japan, that I became preoccupied with how I could make travel a permanent fixture in my life.

I have to say that my feet are as itchy now as they were at five and I still stare longingly at the Atlas – or Google maps – but these days I try to manage and be more realistic about my desire to travel, especially now I’m a mum and wife with commitments to others and not just myself.

What is the most important thing that you think travel gives children?
For me, there are so many good reasons to travel with children, but if you were to ask me the most important then I think I would have to say how it connects them with the human race. All over the world there are many cultures, people and ways of life and I believe that by exposing our children to the diversity of this world we teach them about understanding, compassion, acceptance and wonder. I want nothing more than for my daughter to be happy, and I believe that the path to happiness lies in realising that life is a gift, and this earth is a gift, so we should enjoy it if we can, and learn from those with whom we share it.

It’s interesting that your book started as notebook diaries, then moved onto a blog. Do you think a blog is a good launchpad for anyone wanting to write a book?
The journey towards my first book is quite strange. I have written in notebooks my entire life about what I see around me and what I experience. It’s really something that I can’t control: I see something, I learn something, I experience something, and I immediately feel compelled to write it down. However, I was always quite skeptical of blogs as I saw them as public outlets for writing about the inane private happenings of our lives, and I couldn’t understand why anybody would be interested. However, when we headed off on our road trip across Europe I decided that it might be a good (and easy) way to keep my friends and family up-to-date with our journey, so I bit the bullet and started blogging.

What I found, quite unexpectedly, was access to an incredible community of people across the world and a whole host of inspiring individuals to share ideas and experiences with. This excited me greatly, and continues to do so. So the one thing that I would highlight is: blog because you enjoy it, blog to connect with readers, blog to simply force yourself to write on a regular basis, and if it brings other writing opportunities then brilliant, but don’t just blog with that in mind as you may be in danger of becoming too formulaic and impersonal.

The Griffin family in Andalucia

The main message in your book is, ‘parents, keep travelling!’ Though there must have been times when it hasn’t been plain sailing? What’s the trickiest scenario you’ve dealt with?

There are always tricky situations: exploding nappies on the plane, having to face fellow guests in the breakfast room after Isabella has kept the entire b&b awake all night screaming, and certainly waiting to check-in with a huge backpack, toy bag, nappy bag, raisin bag and a grumpy two-year-old who insists on wrapping herself around the nearest barrier pole with the reins I carefully picked out to ‘aid’ our travel experience – are all none too pleasant. But they are all funny stories to tell at the end of the day and nothing can take away from the warmth I feel at showing my daughter new places and sharing these experiences with her.

If you were only allowed to pack five things (apart from a toothbrush each and lots of pants!) what would you take?

Favourite comforter toy

A good book each (pop-up, sticker or activity book for Isabella)

One spare outfit

Sleeping bag

Tent

NB: I would layer all of us in as many useful clothes as possible for the flight/crossing ie: cagool, warm jumper, long trousers, thermals, hats, gloves, gillet!

With all of the above I can guarantee a fabulous family holiday. Everything not on the list you can buy on the road!

Where next (and can we come too)?!
We are off on a mini camping-and-city-break road trip through France, Belgium, Holland and Germany in May, then we fly to Norway in July for a short stay in Bergen before heading North to stay in a log cabin, row boats on stunning lakes, explore rugged mountains and take a train across this magnificent landscape. We are also busy planning Isabella’s first back-packing trip to Thailand in December.

Of course you can come… but only as my SIXTH item and you’ll have to bring your own pants!

 Tales from a Travelling Mum is available on Amazon, and we have a FREE COPY to give away.  Alice has kindly agreed to sign it for the recipient. For your chance to win, simply comment below (not forgetting to leave your email address when prompted – it won’t appear in public, or be used for anything other than to get in touch, should you be the winner).

Blogger Littlemummy is hosting a guest post day as one lesson in her 10-part weekly Mum E Blogger Course. It’s free to join (though if you would like to receive the course all at once, it’s available for £8.99) and is extremely useful, whether you’re a seasoned blogger, or a newbie just learning the ropes.

The idea of the guest post day (which was officially held on Friday 5^th March, and I’m sorry that Sleep is for the Weak and I are a little bit late with our swap) is to forge links between bloggers, and help teach about the virtues of reciprocal links. Josie, who writes Sleep is for the Weak, doesn’t need an introduction to many in the parent blogging world. Currently ranking at number five in the Top 100 Parent Blogger’s index, she’s an inspiration to many with her weekly creative writing prompts. She’s also the founder of Judith’s Room, an online writing forum for women. We’re thrilled to have her posting at angels & urchins, and know her post will have resonance for many of those reading.

Why I am proud to be a Mummy Blogger

I pause at the door, listening to the soft sounds of my son’s breathing as he settles to sleep, my own deep sigh of relief mingling with his. It has been a long day. It’s always been a long day.

I shut the door and tiptoe down the stairs. My (well-trained) husband has already made me a cup of tea and it waits by my laptop along with quiet space, interrupted time and a whole other world, a whole other life. One in which I’m not the tired, washed out housewife I see when I look in a mirror, struggling with confidence and doubt and worry.

No. Here I am something else. Writer, Blogger, confident deliverer of witty banter and someone, it seems, that people actually quite like to know.

To say that blogging saved my sanity is an understatement.

What began, 10 months ago, as a bit of fun, a way to de-stress after a hard day and try to get my ‘porridge brain’ back into some kind of working order, quickly evolved into something else entirely. I got to write out whatever was in my head, some of it was funny but a lot of it was raw and sometimes painfully honest. I didn’t always like being a mum and writing seemed to make me want to be honest about that. Motherhood for me seemed mostly about feeling tired and overwhelmed, struggling with a ‘challenging’ toddler whom I adored but who left me feeling completely out of my depth most of the time. Extreme sleep deprivation, tantrums, developmental worries. I wasn’t entirely sure how I was supposed to feel about it all.

But by writing it out, somehow it lost its hold. Because, you know what? Turns out a lot of people felt the EXACT same way.

That was the surprise. Because the off-loading? The random writing about whatever I happened to be mulling over that day? Turns out people read this stuff! And commented! And, oh my goodness wait a minute… THEY wrote blogs too! Wonderful blogs, full of humour and variety and written by a multitude of inspirational and intelligent mums and dads.

I was hooked. COMPLETELY.

Blogging began to be the thing that got me through a stressful day. The golden chalice of nap times and long evenings where I could escape my humdrum mummydom for a moment and flex my creative muscles. It began a love-affair with words and writing that had simmered, forgotten, since I was teenager, and that encouraged me to change my study plans, my life plans actually, and take up Creative Writing as a degree. That in turn led to me starting a weekly writing workshop on the blog as a way for me to connect with other would-be writers and which, surprisingly, people loved, somehow managing to tap in to a shared need of many bloggers wanting to develop their writing but struggling to find inspiration. And THAT in turn lead to the creation of Judith’s Room, a space for women writers specifically, who, more than their male counterparts, often seem so riddled with low confidence and a difficulty in claiming and being proud of their achievements. It’s led to new projects, new opportunities. Genuinely a whole new world for me.

It’s been quite a ride. And one that has been increasingly shared with many new friends along the way. REAL friends, many of whom I now can’t imagine my life without.

It’s not all cake and ice cream though, it has to be said. Like all ‘communities’, blogging has its ups and downs. Finding your way in such a rapidly growing field of interest can be a bit mind-boggling at times. Things like stats, the promise of PR pitches (even if they are for silly things like liquorice), and an inevitable desire to achieve recognition and make your voice heard, can sometimes leave you prone to what I usually refer to as the ‘bloggers wobble’. It’s easy to feel like a little fish in a very big pond, easy to feel like the new kid on the edge of the playground, longingly watching the cool kids play.

But the freedom (and the fun) comes when you realise we’re ALL cool kids in this playground. Because we’re all in it together, muddling our way through parenting our children and figuring out what on earth we’re supposed to be doing. Read enough blogs, connect with enough people and you’re ALWAYS going to find someone you can relate to, who makes you feel less alone, less incompetent. Who makes you laugh or makes you think. Who just makes you feel BETTER. You are going to come away feeling good about yourself, as a person and as a parent.

And that’s what I love.

OK, so blogging isn’t going to make me rich. In monetary terms anyway, but it is enriching my life, my friendships, my self esteem, inspiring my creativity and my ambition, in ways I never could have imagined.

It’s making me a better person, and a better parent.

 So, that’s why, quite frankly, I think it’s ace and why I’m going to keep on doing what I’m doing.

 Viva la Mummy Blogolution. Long may it continue.

Lenore Skenazy: our favourite free-range friend

When New Yorker Lenore Skenazy let her nine-year-old ride solo on the subway, she wrote about it in the paper she worked for, The New York Sun. Overnight, the reaction to her ‘daring’ caused her to be invited on talk shows across the country, later the world, and become branded ‘America’s worst mom’. Her experience spawned a website, a book (£12.63 at Amazon, incl. p&p) and an entire parenting movement, Free-Range Kids. As a Londoner with young children, it had particular resonance.

Free-Range Kids is a wry and witty look at the restrictions that we, as a society, place upon our children. Skenazy makes you look at your actions as a parent in a new light – so much so that you expect to see a cartoon bulb pop up, while you scratch your head and think, ‘Oh yes, it is a two-minute walk to his friend’s house, I suppose he could actually make it there by himself, possibly even in one piece’. Lenore’s thoughts transcend geographical borders, and are particularly relevant to children based in a large city where many parents (the angels & urchins team included) are terrified to let children run free, let alone walk round the corner.

We all worry about something happening to our children. But if you’ve too terrified to let your child ride a bike to the library, take a bus on their own, or walk alone to school, have a read and a think at Free-Range Kids. As Lenore puts it, she believes in helmets, car seats and safety belts as much as the next mum. She also feels equally passionately that every time school age children go outside, they do not need a security detail. As she puts it, ‘most of us grew up Free-Range and lived to tell the tale. Our kids deserve no less’.

Lenore, what first made you think that Western parents were prone to bubble-wrapping their children?
A couple of years ago my neighbor Melissa was telling a bunch of us moms about her trip to the giant grocery, Costco. She was there with her two daughters, aged two and five, when the lady behind her in the line tapped her on the shoulder and said, “Would you mind watching my son for a second? I forgot to get paper towels.” The lady’s son was about a year old, he was sitting in the grocery cart – you know, with his legs sticking out – and Melissa said, “Fine!” so off the mom went.

But as Melissa told this tale she paused to say, “Can you BELIEVE she did that?”

“Did what?” asked I.

 “Lenore! I could have taken her baby and she would NEVER HAVE SEEN HIM AGAIN!”

Really? Let’s think for a sec what would have had to have happened for that tragedy to transpire. First off, Melissa would have had to have abandoned her grocery cart AND hustled her own two kids AND the other lady’s baby past a line of stunned shoppers, AND the check-out lady AND the person guarding the door who makes sure you paid for all your items.

THEN she’d have to drag them all through the parking lot AND remember where she was parked, AND unlock the doors, all while holding a squirming baby under one arm and her two-year-old by the hand, with her five-year-old hanging onto her arm, ALL of them crying and at least one of them probably wailing, “Mommy! Why are you stealing that lady’s baby?” (And, “Why aren’t we buying our Pop Tarts? You promised!!!”)

She’d have to get all three kids into the car and buckle them into car seats – and she’d have to have brought along an extra one for the baby she hoped to one day kidnap – and then she’d have to hop in and gun her SUV across state lines and NO ONE would have called the police on their mobile or said something like, “Uh, lady, stop!”?

The scenario was so ludicrous I told Melissa she was nuts, because not only was she imagining the world full of paedophiles, in this particular scenario SHE would have had to have been one – a crazed kidnapper with two kids of her own whose lucky moment just happened to arrive out of the blue in the check-out line!
What gobsmacked me is that when Melissa told her story to most of our mutual mommy friends, they all agreed that the other lady was an absolutely terrible, irresponsible mother who was just lucky her son wasn’t abducted.

THAT’S when I realized that most Western parents have gone crazy (since you asked). Most parents today think that ANY situation involving ANYONE but themselves (or a hired professional) interacting with their kids is a recipe for doom. Everyone is suspect, and every child is unsafe if left unsupervised for even a minute or two.

Anyway, that whole Melissa thing was about five years ago. Then, last year, when I let my nine-year-old ride the subway alone and wrote a newspaper column about it – he was fine, he loved it! – I ended up on almost every radio and TV show in America (and a few in Britain) having to explain myself. I told host after host that I let him go NOT because I had a point to prove or didn’t care if he lived or died. No, I did it because I trusted him, and my city, and my parenting. For all that I got dubbed, “America’s Worst Mom.” (Go ahead and Google it.)

Why did you decide to launch your Free-Range Kids website?
I decided to launch Free-Range Kids the weekend after I wrote the subway column. I was so shaken by so many people accusing me of not caring about my son that I wanted to set the record straight, via a blog. As it says right on there on the home page, I BELIEVE in safety. I just believe that kids also need a chance to get out there and do some things on their own. Free-Range Kids is a commonsense approach to parenting in uncommonly overprotective times.

Did the book happen swiftly afterwards? 
The book happened so swiftly that it’s lucky I’m a newspaper reporter, and write fast. It was exactly a year from the subway column to the hardcover book hitting the stands. (The paperback comes out this spring.) By the way, it could use a British publisher!

Are there any other Western countries that seem less rigid? 
I’d say all of the non-English speaking ones! Almost everywhere in the world except my country and yours and Canada and perhaps Australia, kids walk to school on their own starting in first grade. It’s not considered radical or dangerous – it’s just normal! But here, kids are driven right up to the door. In fact, some Parent Teacher Associations have started auctioning off the drop-off space right in front of the school. A space that, if it were in front of a dentist’s office, or a mall, would be reserved for handicapped parking. But nowadays, parents are vying for the opportunity to treat their kids like invalids. That’s the sign of a “good parent.” A helicopter, don’t-do-anything-that-could-strain-yourself-honey parent. Other countries, meanwhile, still value self-reliance and encourage this in their kids. In Denmark, babies sleep outside. In Finland, they ski to school. In Germany, they play in the park without their parents right there. In Spain too. And let’s not even talk about kids in the developing world, who help their parents plant seeds and run shops as soon as they can do the least little bit.

On what Free-Range issue do other parents most often disagree with you?
Whether or not to let kids go outside on their own, ever. The fact is, here in America, the crime rate today is lower than it was in the 70s or 80s and early 90s when most of us parents were kids. So there is no reason not to let kids do the things outside that we did. Ride bikes in the neighborhood, knock on a friend’s door to say, “Come out and play!” And yet most parents today are terrified to let their kids do any of that.

The disagreement comes when I say, “Your parents were responsible and they let you play outside.” And they say, “Yes, but times have changed.” Or, “If anything happened, I couldn’t live with myself.” They immediately see in their mind’s eye the Worst Case Scenario and it’s really hard to speak rationally when they’re envisioning the headlines and feeling their tears well up. But anyway: the truth is our parents couldn’t have lived with themselves, either. And yet they didn’t focus on the 1 in a million chance of something horrible and headline-worthy happening. They focused on the things their kids needed besides excessive safety. Kids need fresh air! They need time to be creative! They need to learn how to wrestle their way out of boredom and make up games and get to know the neighborhood and poke through acorns and leaves and crabapples and become one with the world. They can’t do all of that with us dragging them off to Mandarin lessons and homework and supervised play time one foot away from us. They need to grow up, not be pruned like lovely, stunted Bonsai trees.

What’s the craziest restriction on children you’ve heard of?
A grandma who was sitting in her allergist’s waiting room reading the newspaper with a magnifying glass. A little boy of about three came over to her and she was delightedly showing him how the magnifying glass makes the letters BIGGER when the boy’s mother swooped in and grabbed him away, saying, “He has to learn FAST not to talk to strangers!” She’s teaching him that even when his mother is around, even when he’s in an enclosed space, even when he’s talking to a woman so old she needs to use a magnifying glass to read the paper, HE IS NOT SAFE. In other words: He is NEVER safe, anywhere.

And then there are the parents who drive their kids from the garage down to the bottom of the driveway to wait for the school bus because they think it’s too dangerous for their kids to wait in front of the house by themselves.

And I hear a lot more. Read the blog (www.freerangekids.com). There are millions of ‘em!

Are things likely to change?
They already are. The fact that “Free-Range Kids” is already a recognized movement is great. So is the fact that a lot of studies are coming out that prove that the most beneficial thing kids can do is… play! Free-play develops their minds, bodies, coordination, imagination, communication – you name it. That’s why all primates come into the world primed to play. We thwart that instinct at our peril!

I’m sorry to say that while I don’t live in Britain I hear from you folks on a daily basis and get some of my craziest stories from your shores. I am shocked and dismayed, for instance, at the new law requiring children’s authors to get a background check to prove they are not convicted child rapists before they are allowed to give a talk at a school. So even if J.K. Rowling was game to speak to your kids’ class, she’d have to show up with that official piece of paper before she’d be allowed in. I was thrilled to see some of the authors protesting this “Everyone is a paedophile until proven otherwise” provision, and I hope that other Brits will follow suit. It’s a disgusting – and inaccurate – way of looking at the world. Let’s not raise our kids as if they’re living in a nightmare.  Infant mortality is down. Most childhood diseases have been conquered. Most people are decent.

Rejoice.

And go Free-Range

P.S. I’d LOVE to come lecture in your country, so invite me! Australia already has and they’re further away!

The team at angels&urchins is often asked about blogging. ‘What’s it all about’, ‘Why do it’, and ‘How do you get started?’ all come up as frequently as questions about what to do during the holidays. So we decided to ask the mother of them all, A Modern Mother to let us in on the tricks of the trade. This very readable blog is incredibly popular, and currently at number one in the Tots 100 UK’s Top Parenting Blogs. An American by birth, A Modern Mother has lived in the UK since getting married and having three children within three years. As she puts it, ‘starting a blog was cheaper than therapy’. Just over a year ago she started the British Mummy Blogger’s Carnival, a selection of the best posts from the previous fortnight. angels&urchins blog is proud to be in the latest one at YummyMummyTips. Start your  own blog and you could be hosting your own carnival – read all about it, and everything else to do with the mummy blogging, below.

Mummy, or “mommy” blogging, a huge phenomenon in the US, is just starting to take hold in the UK. A staggering 36 million women worldwide participate in “blogosphere” every week and fifteen million women have their own blogs. A growing number of these women are British.

I’ve put together this guide to help mums who are interested in creating a blog, but have no idea where to start. I assume a bit of technical savvy (such as you know how to surf the internet) but in no way do you have to be an IT expert. I’m not, and trust me, if I can do it, so can you.

So what are you waiting for? Sit back, have a read and get blogging!

What is a blog and why would I want to start one? A blog is a shortened version of a “web log”. A “mummy blog” is where mums write about their experiences of motherhood. Being a mum can be isolating. Some mums really enjoy the opportunity to connect with other mums who are going through similiar life events. 

Blogging can be a sense of light relief and accomplishment. It’s not for everyone, but many women enjoy it. Watch out, it can be addictive! And it’s not just mums who blog, there are some excellent blogs out there written by authors with dangly bits, like Single Parent Dad. 

How do I get started? Get a free Google Blogger account and start writing! You’ll need to pick a name for your blog. This is probably one of the more important decisions you’ll make. There are lots of blogs out there, so pick a name that makes you stand out a bit.

Should I be anonymous? Many British Mummy Bloggers are anonymous, though more are “coming out”. Being anonymous “takes the gloves off” and gives you the freedom to write whatever you want, without offending anyone. It also limits the amount of information about you and your family in a public forum like the Internet. You can make up names for your children, such as I do on my site. There are many clever anonymous bloggers out there, such as The Potty Diaries, Nappy Valley and Bush Babies.

Buy your URL. If you don’t want anyone else to use the clever name you’ve picked for yourself, go to a registration service such as 123Reg or DynoNames and buy the rights to the domain name. You can buy the .co.uk domain and get free privacy (hide your contact details on the register) for about £6. If you’re really serious about it, buy the .com domain as well, with privacy (which I highly suggest) it’s about £30.

Create a short biog. In addition to your blog name, you will need to write a short biography about yourself. It can be as short as a couple of sentences, or more indepth. This is your chance to make your blog stand out (in marketing it is called positioning). The Times Alpha Mummy, for example, is for mums or dads “who work, used to work, or want to go back to work someday”.

What do I write about and how often? Write about whatever strikes your fancy – a reaction to something you read in the paper, something you did today or something that you feel strongly about. A blog is a bit like a diary. I often just sit down in a quiet place and start writing, without taking the pen off the paper and keeping the pen moving. Eventually something coherent, and occasionally meaningful, comes out. Also, you don’t need to have a degree in Creative Writing or have been a journalist to start a blog (though it helps). Most bloggers update their sites at least once a week.

Which publishing tool should I use? Google’s Blogger is free and is very popular. If you want more flexibility, try Typepad Typepad or Wordpress, though there is a minimal cost associated with these tools.

How do I get readers? The main way to get readers, is to be a reader. Go to this list of the Best British Mummy Bloggers and start making your way through the list. If you like what you read, make a comment. One of the unwritten rules of mummy blogging is to return comments. If you really like a blog, add it to your blogroll. Also, join an online community, such as British Mummy Bloggers and Blogher. Also, register your blog on Technorati.

What is a blogroll? Your blogroll is your list of favourite blogs. Call it what you like — chum’s blogs, blogs I read, or just plain blogroll. Create a list on the side of your blog and get reading!

What is RSS and why should I care? RSS stands for “Really Simple Syndication”. You need to add an RSS feed to your site so people can subscribe, it is an easy way for blogs to send updates to their readers. An RSS feed provides a list of recent content posted on a blog, with links to each new page. When you subscribe to an RSS feed, you’re automatically notified whenever new content that’s of interest to you is posted. Still confused? Watch this video “Google Reader in Plain English“.

Should I use photos and how? Photos add a lot to a post. You can take your own, or use some of the free stock photography that is available. Flickr is also a good source of photos. Make sure you search under the “Creative Commons” license and always give your photographer credit. You should compress all photos for web use, so that you don’t turn people off with long loading times. To do this, get a free photo editing tool off the web (such as Picasaweb). My laptop came with Microsoft Office Picture Editor, which is easy enough to use and does most things I need.

Security Remember that everything you write is “out there.” There are all kinds of weirdos and pervs out there, so be careful about what you write, never give your address, etc. Beware even if you go anonymous, a hacker could find out pretty much whatever he wants. You may not want to publish any photos of your kids, for example. Also, beware of trolls, people who harass you online.

Should I carry ads? Many of the mums in the US make money from their blogs. Checkout Google Ad Sense and Blogher. I run ads on my site, but honestly, I don’t make much money – barely made enough to fuel my coffee habit.

How else can I expand my readership? Thames Valley Mums Blog and London Mums Blog are community blogs that take contributions from the blogging community. If you are interested being exposed to a new readership, you may want to enquire about being a contributor.

If you have any questions about mummy blogging and how to get started, leave a comment below. Experienced bloggers — please leave a comment too with some of your tips. I’ll update this page as I get more info and feedback, so make sure you check back.