How did we manage in the days before we could surf the web and find the answer to just about any question, immediately? Our children are very lucky to have access to such rich and diverse information at their fingertips. With younger children, a parent can (and should) have pretty much complete control over their internet use. They need lots of support to find and operate good websites. You will probably need to sit next to them and even type in the addresses for them. But children’s need for our support online decreases as they gain the skills to navigate the web on their own. By 8 or 9 they can find favourite sites by themselves. And as they approach and enter their teens they go anywhere they like online, for homework assignments, but also for fun and to meet new people. It’s a lot
like real life. Children become more independent as they grow. The vast majority of experiences children have on-line are positive, fun and educational. But we can’t assume that every visit will be danger-free.

In the real world there is an older generation with lots of experience to make kids aware of risks and how to handle them – crossing the road, stranger danger, smoking. Online it is a different matter. Many parents lack first hand experience of the problems young people encounter, so find it hard to pass on coping strategies. We’ve all heard the stories about cyber bullying and on-line grooming and know we need to be vigilant. But how?

Some years ago I conducted some research with young people about drugs use. Young teens were scornful of their parents’ lack of experience or useful advice. Typically parental advice would run to a meagre “Be careful.” Er.., very helpful. Parental advice
about the internet may invoke a similar reaction.

However parents can become well informed. There is now plenty of guidance for parents on websites which cover risks and how to deal with them. There is an abundance of software available to filter the material your child can access. Some packages are free, others are downloadable at a cost. But filters are never perfect, unwanted material can always get through, and of course your child may not always be accessing the internet from home. They may be online at a friend’s house. At the extreme end of the market there are even spying products you can buy which monitor activity on your child’s computer remotely and secretly.

Some mums prefer to have no filters at all. “I think if you have a relationship with your children where you can be honest and talk about things, you don’t need to be so authoritarian,” says one Notting Hill mother of teenagers.

The general consensus of the parental advice sites is that no filter or spying product is perfect, and that the best way to protect your children from internet dangers is to empower them. Let them know what the dangers are, and how to handle them. If we bring up our
children to be sensible, and to know right from wrong in the real world, they can do the same in the online world. The government’s assessment of internet safety, by Tanya Byron (www.dfes.gov.uk/byronreview) has some helpful key pointers for children:

• Place the computer in a family room;
• Never give strangers information about you like your name, address, age, phone number or school;
• Don’t spend long periods of time online;
• Tell an adult you trust if you feel something is suspicious online;
• Only use a web camera to talk to close friends, not strangers;
• Never arrange to meet someone you don’t know;
• Never click randomly, always read descriptions when searching;
• Remember, some people are not who they say they are.

Websites to try

CURRICULUM BASED

www.mathszone.co.uk
Maths challenges for Key stage 1/2 and 3/4

www.bbc.co.uk/schools
Games, revision, quizzes linked to curriculum.

WIDER INTEREST

www.bbc.co.uk/cbbc/bluepeter
Based on the TV programme, games and quizzes.

www.kids.tate.org.uk
Fabulous site launched in the summer. The online painting section (including a brilliant graffiti page) is particularly good.

JUST FOR FUN

www.bbc.co.uk/cbbc
Fun and games for younger children

www.kids.yahoo.com
Games for various ages. But free access means strong advertising presence.

SOCIAL NETWORKING FOR 5+

Sites that allow interaction between younger children can be fun. They can arrange to meet real world friends online to play games. “My son meets up with his cousin, who lives in California, to play on Webkinz,” says a US mother in London.

www.webkinz.com

Virtual consumer world for 6-13s. Earn money playing games and spend it on pets, houses, furniture. Also newsletters and quizzes. Join by buying soft toy containing secret code for £9.95.

www.clubpenguin.co.uk

Virtual world to explore, for 5-10s, Become a penguin character, who you control. Play games to earn coins, interact with other penguins. Free to play, but membership needed to buy any items with any coins collected. £3.95 per month, or £19.95 for 6 months.
Membership fee keeps site advertising free.

Not every parent is comfortable with these sites. “The idea of my daughter going on-line and chatting to anyone makes me feel sick,” says a mother of an 8 year old girl. Children as young as 5 can play independently on Club Penguin and chat to other players. Parents
have an option of limiting outgoing communication to phrases from a given list, but incoming messages can’t be limited in the same way. Moderators monitor the site, an ‘M’ on screen telling you when they are present. Long-term members are encouraged to report unsuitable chat they notice.

Allowing your child to use a social networking site often prompts the first conversation about on-line safety.

FOR 13+

www.facebook.com, www.myspace.com, www.bebo.com

These sites are all for connecting with friends and communities. You can upload photos, share videos, and chat. Supposedly limited
to those aged 13+, but a determined child (or adult) could lie about their age.

Filtering, blocking and monitoring

THERE ARE COST-FREE WAYS TO PROTECT CHILDREN:

Google Safe Search

A simple option, which only takes a few seconds. On the main google page look for Preferences. Halfway down the page click ‘use strict filtering’ and this will filter out explicit text and images.

Leopard for Apple Mac

Apple Mac computers have had Leopard operating system installed since November 2007. Leopard allows parental control, found under ‘System Preferences’. Unsuitable websites can be blocked. You can enter a bedtime and time limits, specifying different times of day for weekends and weekdays. It keeps track of websites visited, and people chatted with. You can access parental controls and see the logs remotely from any Mac. Phone 0845 378 0006 for help from Apple technical support.

Windows Vista for PCs

If you have a new pc you may already have Windows Vista installed. Any PC bought since September 2007 from PC World will have Windows Vista. As with Leopard for Macs, parents can manage what children can do online. Parental Controls are found in your Control Panel. You can specify permitted games, game ratings, hours allowed each day of the week, and see activity reports. PC World offer a free 30 minute consultation which is arranged at time of purchase.

If you do not have these systems on your computer already, or if you want more control, there is a huge choice of downloadable products you can buy.

www.webwatcherkids.com

Heavy duty on-line protection. Download for $97 (£48). Can be managed remotely. Live chat on-line to product expert for any questions.