Achieving the right balance of quality time with the children; with your partner; for some of us, a career too; and let’s not forget the all-important “me time”, is the Holy Grail for many parents today. Getting the right child care can improve that balance and help you maximise enjoyment of each precious stage of your children’s development. As a mother of three who had my babies very close together (under two and a half!) I have employed a full range of childcare options given my evolving needs at different times.

When setting up Harmony Placement my talks with busy parents taught me that not only did they find the whole area of employing a child carer stressful, time-consuming and a bit like going to the dentist – something you know you have to do but tend to approach with grim determination – there was also a real lack of understanding about some of the roles and how certain arrangements can work.

So how do you decide what is right for you? Budget constraints will obviously be a fundamental determining factor. But it is by no means all about the money. It is also about what kind of a person and/or family you are; what kinds of situations you are comfortable with; and where your priorities lie in terms of getting child care to work for you. Properly understanding the roles is a great start. But a little visualisation is also essential – try to imagine how each of the options might be positively worked into your lives. And what characteristics that person would ideally have….

Au Pair

Top of the A-Z list and definitely the least understood comes the Au Pair. In the US and other European countries like Ireland and France, Au Pairs are widely used, but still relatively less common in the UK. I asked parents why they thought that was and the most common response was a fear that this person would intrude into the privacy of their lives. “Will they expect to eat their meals with us, watch TV with us every night? It’s a small enough house and I rarely see Chris as it is, the long hours he works…” The funny things is that in my experience Au Pairs are just as keen to be independent after hours. And my advice would be to discuss these kinds of questions with them right at the start, before you offer to take them on.

When I was at university being an Au Pair was considered the very best way to perfect a foreign language as you immerse yourself in the bustle of everyday family life. I was an Au Pair twice myself so when we needed live-in help, an extra pair of hands, I did not hesitate to opt for an Au Pair.

·         A French term meaning 'on a par' (or equal) Au Pairs are typically young people from overseas who want to spend a few months to a year abroad to learn or improve a foreign language while having a cultural experience in the safe environment of a family home, where they are treated as a member of the family.

·         Au Pairs live-in with their own bedroom and TV (and bathroom where possible), earning bed, board and pocket money in exchange for helping to look after children and carrying out light household chores, generally under the supervision of a parent.

·         Being a host family for an au pair can be a rewarding experience. Au Pairs can offer families a much-needed extra pair of hands, and is a cost-effective form of childcare support where significant sole-charge cover is not needed – they should not be given sole charge of children under 2.

·         Au Pairs typically do not hold childcare qualifications and often have little childcare experience aside from caring for siblings or occasional babysitting.

·         Au Pairs typically work Mon-Fri for 5-6 hours per day for minimum pocket money of £65-80 with 2 Evenings babysitting included; those willing to work longer hours are termed Au Pair Plus and earn more pocket money.

·         They are not employees hence tax and insurance contributions are not involved.

Doula

·         A doula is typically an experienced woman, normally a mother herself, who is trained to provide care and emotional and practical support to the mother before, during and after child-birth. The ‘ethos’ of a Doula is ‘mothering the mother’ and is a wonderful option for expectant and post-partum mothers, particularly when their own mothers cannot be with them

·         A labour/birth support Doula offers non-medical, non-midwifery support to the mother during child-birth, including massage and emotional support and encouragement. They can also assist in ensuring the birth plan is adhered to, conveying the mother’s wishes to medical staff where required.

·         A post-partum Doula typically begins providing care in the home after the birth and stays 6 weeks or longer, up to a year in some cases.

·         She will typically provide new-born care assistance, breast-feeding support, and can run errands and carry out household chores and cooking to help the whole family during the busy time following the arrival of a new member of the family.

·         She will also provide important emotional support to the mother, and may offer mothers restorative post-natal massage.

·         Doulas often work 4-6 hours per day Mon-Fri (£12-15 per/hr), though arrangements vary depending on the mother’s needs.

Maternity Nurse

I will never forget the day the maternity nurse arrived at our house when our second baby was born. Breast-feeding was not working for me. I was in extreme pain and could not sleep. My poor baby was suffering from the most dreadful colic; my older daughter was so put out with the new arrival that she was throwing massive tantrums and refusing to go to sleep; and to top it all off my husband was commuting overseas during the week. Naturally I was feeling a little sorry for myself! The maternity nurse was an angel – the essence of calm, non-judgmental confidence. She transformed our lives.

·         A Maternity Nurse is an experienced specialist in the care of newborn babies, generally comes from a nanny or midwifery background, and often holds a Maternity Nursing qualification.

·         The role of the Maternity Nurse is to help provide a smooth introduction of baby to family life, caring for both baby and mother in the private home. They come to you with a wealth of practical experience as well as an innate sensitivity and caring nature. A maternity nurse supports the family by aiding mother’s post-natal recovery and the ultimate goal is that by the end of the booking parents are calm and confident to go it alone.

·         For first time parents they can be a priceless source of help and advice, not only in terms of the development and well-being of baby, but also in terms of encouraging and building the confidence of new parents. They can teach parents all aspects of baby care with specialist knowledge on feeding issues and sleep patterns.

·         A Maternity Nurse will typically live with the family from the day the baby comes home from hospital for 2-12 weeks and are on duty on a 24hr / 6 days per week basis. This costs £750-950 for a single baby. Alternatively, Maternity Nurses can cover an 8 -12 hour period, night or day. (They are self-employed; hence they arrange their own tax and NI contributions).

Mother's Helps

·         These positions are particularly suitable for families who need an extra pair of hands but do not need full-time sole-charge childcare cover. A Mother's Help typically has less childcare skills and experience than a nanny and therefore will not usually be given full-time sole charge of children. Salaries are also lower than nannies' making it a cost-effective childcare option.

·         Mother's Helps should have a childcare qualification and/or 1 year's childcare experience. They are often recently qualified and committed to building a career in childcare.

·         Aside from childcare duties they may also be required to carry out light housework.

·         Mother’s helps typically work Mon-Fri on a live-in or daily basis and 8-10 hours daily.

·         Salaries £250-400pwn. As with nannies, employers are responsible for their tax and national insurance contributions along with their salaries.

Nanny

We employed a full-time live-out Nanny when I went back to work after my first child was born. She came to us with great references but for me hiring a nanny is all about the personality. I was a little unsure of myself with the first baby. Our nanny had that perfect balance of confidence and roll-up-the-sleeves professionalism as well as gentleness, a big heart and fun. We are still in contact to this day.

·         Nannies should have a minimum of 2 years’ relevant childcare experience – many also have qualifications.

·         They may have sole charge of the children, or shared charge with a parent.

·         They are charged with the mental and physical development of the children in their charge, as well as providing a safe and stimulating environment for them.

·         They are responsible for all Nursery Duties, or tasks relating to the children.

·         A good nanny will offer regular feedback to parents on a child’s development and can keep a diary to record special moments and milestones. This can also be used to note play-dates, excursions and other social activities.

·         A daily/live-out Nanny typically works 10 hours per day Mon-Fri, though this can range from 8-12 hours per day. Salaries, depending on skills, experience and job requirements, range from £350-550pwn. Employers are responsible for their tax and national insurance contributions along with their salaries.

·         Other Nanny roles include Nanny/PA and Nanny/Housekeeper where a combination of duties is involved.

Night Nanny

We employed a night nanny as a luxury a few nights a week when our first child was born as neither my husband nor I is good at surviving on little sleep!

·         Night Nannies are a great option for parents with newborn babies who really need good, uninterrupted sleep at night. This is something that will certainly aid a post-partum mother’s recovery.

·         Night Nannies tend to be younger and less experienced than specialist maternity nurses

·         They will take on all baby-related night-time duties, leaving you to sleep and get up refreshed in the morning. They will change the baby’s nappies; settle the baby; prepare and give night feeds; dress and feed the baby in the morning before leaving

·         They will provide regular feedback to the parents on the baby’s progress

·         Night Nannies typically work 8-12 hours per night and can be booked for 1 night only up to 6 nights per week for as many weeks as are required by families. Often a night nanny will stay with the family until the baby is sleeping through the night

Finding great childcare to suit your family’s needs does not need to be so time-consuming and stressful. Try to think about childcare less as function and practicality and more as a means to a better life balance… www.harmonyplacement.com